“You know what could be fun?” he poses, running a fingertip down my back.
I cross my hands over his bare chest so I can rest my chin and peer up at him. “Letting me finish what I started?” I guess.
His brow rises, and his face instantly flushes. “Oh, ah, yeah, that was … definitely fun,” he mumbles awkwardly, and I frown. “But I meant, fun foryou.”
“I didn’t hate it,” I reply coyly, and his throat works as he swallows hard.
“I really want to know what you like, though,” he says, his voice strained.
I smirk at him. “Are you asking me whether I have a fantasy you might be able to fulfill?”
“Maybe,” he says, stirring another ripple of desire within me.
I wouldn’t normally share something like this, but I think his cheesiness might be contagious. And it’s not like we’re going to see one another again after tonight, anyway.
“Okay, promise you won’t laugh?” I bite my lip and wait for him to nod before I go on. “I kind of think barns are sexy.”
“Barns? Like, with the sheep and the hay and the ….”
“Shit?” I supply.
“Yeah,” he confirms, regarding me strangely.
“To be fair, it’s the hardworking man in the barn I find intriguing,” I say sarcastically.
“So you have a thing for cowboys?” He cocks an eyebrow.
“Not exactly,” I say, blushing.
“Farmers?”
I sigh. “I use to wish the country boy of my dreams would sweep me off my feet, buy me a piece of land, and build me a big old barn. And then I’d thank him by christening it, if you know what I mean.”
A devious grin takes over his face, and he reaches down to stroke my lower back. “If you were my wife, I’d build you a barn, Claire Bear. A big one, with a loft full of hay to roll around in together. I’d even put a bed up there, if that’s what you wanted.”
I bite back a whimper, squirming and trying to keep my hips from seeking out his. But I’m wasting away. It’s not fair that he keeps making himself more desirable, while I’m struggling to survive long enough to see him quench the fire he’s been stoking.
“You keep mentioning a wife and a family,” I begin, pausing to exhale and release some of the tension building up inside me again. “And earlier you said you only date women if you see things going somewhere …”
“Is this a proposal?” he replies, his lip quirking as he tries to keep a straight face.
“It’s a warning, because I don’t think I’ll bother with marriage ever again.” My stomach tightens as I say it aloud, as if even my body knows how sad that makes me.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he says, sounding genuinely regretful. “Don’t you think you might change your mind if you found the right person … at the right time?”
I shake my head. “I’m not under the impression that I’m completely blameless. I contributed to the downfall of my marriage, too, and I don’t think it would be fair of me to ask anyone else to take a risk on me again.”
He swallows hard. “Do you mind if I ask what happened?”
“You still haven’t answered my question,” I remind him quietly, trying to postpone the part when I confess what a crappy wife I’ve been.
“Yes, I’ve never wanted anything more than to get married and start a family,” he says, reaching out to brush a stray piece of hair away from my eyes. “Well, I take that back. I think I’ve been introduced to a whole new level ofwantingas of tonight.” He smirks as he adds the last part, and I feel the effects of it deep down within my core.
“Rowan,” I object, but he only blinks down at me, waiting for me to continue. No man has ever looked at me the way this one does, and a small part of me wonders how I ever settled for a Jeremy when there were Rowans out there in the world, just waiting to stroke my back and gaze at me adoringly while I unload a lifetime of emotional trauma.
“Do you know what I want most right now?” he ventures, and my lady parts instantly take note, hoping to get called out by name.
“What’s that?” I barely manage.
