“First of all, you’re not ruined or damaged goods, and even though I disagree with most of your views on physical intimacy, none of that diminishes your value or dignity as a woman, and it’s certainly never made me want you any less,” he tells me without dropping my gaze. “Secondly, I’d never want you to convertforme. I’d love it if you decided you wanted to become a Catholic and share my love of God and the Church, more than anything, but I’d never want you to fake it on my behalf.”
I sniff again, and he reaches up to swipe his thumb over my cheek as he continues. “And thirdly, if anyone’s been ruined in this scenario, it’s me. Regardless of whether I’ve been successful in upholding your virtue and mine, I don’t need to have sex with you to know that I’ll never want anyone else as long as I live.”
I blink at him, unable to process what he’s saying.
“I told you, Claire. One kiss from you was more than enough to alter my brain chemistry forever.”
“But none of that matters,” I repeat. “I can’t?—”
“Yes, you can. Well, most likely,” he interrupts me to say with a shrug. “Your mom said you were baptized, right?”
I nod.
“I’ve already spoken to a priest and a canonical lawyer. If you ever wanted to have your first marriage annulled, there’s a good chance it could easily and quickly be declared invalid due to a lack of form,” he explains, trying not to grin.
I gasp and shove him again. “You spoke to a church lawyer about this without telling me or even asking my permission?”
He opens and closes his mouth a few times. “Okay, maybe Ioverstepped. But I didn’t give out any personal details, I swear. It was one of those asking-for-a-friend conversations.”
“Did you really ask a priest whether my first marriage was valid so you could walk around with this in your back pocket?”
“It’s not like I did it just to win an argument,” he replies, then he cringes. “Except, maybe this one.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “I can’t stand you when you’re right.”
“And what about the rest of the time, since we both know I’m not right very often?” He smirks and tugs me closer.
I sigh and allow Rowan to drape my arms over his shoulders. I don’t think anyone’s ever looked at me with this much affection and adoration before. No human, anyway. And now that the possibility of a long-term future together seems slightly less implausible, I suppose I could risk dipping a toe into the bottomless pool of my feelings for him.
“The rest of the time, I think you’re dangerous. And I like you so much that it scares me,” I confess, because I feel like he deserves at least some of the truth, though it will take some time to come to terms with the rest of it myself.
He sucks in a breath, as if I’ve just delivered the greatest news he’s ever heard. “Do you really?”
“I let you keep your boxers this time, didn’t I?” I reply, and he grins so hard he barely manages to kiss me.
“Now, being that I’m so deeply in love with you, and you seem to be in such enthusiastic like with me, wouldn’t that make us officially more than friends?” he asks once he pulls away.
“Unofficially, at least,” I say, rolling my eyes and trying to stifle a smile.
“And by unofficially, do you mean we’re not labeling it? Or is it unofficial because no one else can know?” He scratches the back of his head nervously as he awaits my answer.
“I guess that depends on how much you value your reputation,” I mumble.
He flashes me another grin, this one more devious than the last. “Oh, but you’re not getting off that easy anymore, ClaireBear. You can’t just throw out one of those comments and not expect me to disprove it.”
I groan. “You’re totally going to do that whole love-bombing thing now, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely,” he confirms. “For, like, ever.”
“Ugh, not the star-crossed soulmates crap again,” I whine to hide the way I’m equal parts giddy and terrified at that prospect.
He hums and regards me carefully. “We both know how much you like it cheesy.”
“That’s not exactly what makes you dangerous,” I tell him, my voice taking on a sultry tone.
He bites his lip and reaches over to trace a finger over my tattoos. “Well, then, it’s a good thing at least one of us was paying attention in that NFP class. I’ll need to remember some of those other methods for keeping your cup full, at least until I can convey the full extent of my affection physically.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Maybe I should have gotten you out of those drawers while I still had the chance.”
