“Nothing,” I reply quietly.
“You’re looking at me funny,” she continues, narrowing her eyes.
“Well, you’re pretty impressive. I know you think my crush is … immature. But you’re not helping your case when you’re out here ...”
She snorts. “What, shoveling sheep shit with you?”
“Yeah,” I say with a short laugh. “Exactly. I used to think my standards were high, but that was before I knew women like you existed. And I’m not sure you understand how much you’ve raised my expectations.”
Her eyelashes flutter. “You don’t have to shower me with gifts and compliments every time I do something nice for you. A simple thank you would suffice.”
“I’m not …” I sigh and stick my shovel into the ground before I cross my arms over the handle. “I guess I’m just wishing things could be different.”
Her dark brows draw in closer, but she doesn’t say anything. I take her shovel and return them both to their place while she leans back against the wall and watches me.
“And I thought you were supposed to be holding out for Little Miss Prim and Proper,” she says after a while, digging the already dingy toe of her boot into the dirt floor to make her point.
“Prim and proper are overrated. The more time I spend with you, the more obvious that becomes,” I tell her, moving closer.
She tilts her head back and laughs, and I smile at the sound of it. “Now you want someone who’s willing to have your babiesandfix your busted pipes?”
“Is it too much to ask if she’s also hot enough to rock overalls and a tattoo sleeve?”
“As long as she cleans up nice for church on Sunday mornings.” Her sardonic smile causes mine to fade slightly.
“Maybe I am asking too much,” I mutter.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure the girl of your dreams is out there somewhere,” she says, her tone softening.
“What about you?” I ask after a while.
She shrugs. “I’m not sure what the hell I want anymore.”
I click my tongue in mock disappointment. “You’re supposed to say you want a man in slutty little glasses who’s willing to build you a barn with a sexy hay loft.”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten about that,” she says with a quiet laugh.
“I’ve been listening to every word. And I hear you when you say you’re not looking to settle down, but I can’t help thinking you’d be really good at marriage … with the right person,” I force myself to say.
She looks away and blinks, and I know I’m pushing her boundaries, but something tells me I’m supposed to press on.
“Still think you’ll never be ready to try again?” I ask carefully. “With anyone?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not sure I can see past the here and now.”
“Have you ever tried envisioning your future? You know, just closing your eyes and picturing the first things that come to mind?”
“Not really.”
“Wanna try it together?” I venture, leaning back and copying her pose.
She snorts. “You’re such a dork.”
“At least I’m not a chicken.”
“Oh, so I’m chicken now?” she asks incredulously. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
“I’d like to think of myself as more careful than cowardly,” I say with a laugh.
