Claire
Whoa, hold on, there … Let’s not make any promises I don’t intend for you to keep.
Rowan
Well, I assumed you were under a social obligation to reciprocate with a selfie of your own, and I didn’t want you to think I expected a one-for-one trade off.
But the aforementioned rules don’t necessarily apply to you, for the record. You’re free to set your own selfie guidelines.
Because I’m somewhat of a feminist.
Claire
I just snorted so hard that my cramps came back.
But if you really want to make this equitable …
*Selfie holding Oscar*
Rowan
That’s one cute wiener.
Claire
Fair is fair, right?
Rowan
I’m afraid you’ve emasculated me now. I’ll never recover from this game.
Claire
Oh, come on. It’s just a little sausage pic.
Rowan
Little?
Claire
*gif of Jennifer Lawrence cringing*
My bad. Unfortunate word choice …
Besides, if either of us is subject to an unfair disadvantage, it’s me. You’re literally a professional lady part inspector.
Rowan
And I’ve already admitted that I enjoy looking at your parts more than any others I’ve seen to date.
Claire
*bathroom selfie in a sports bra and boxer shorts*
Okay, then. Have a look at this gorgeous period bloat belly.
. . .
