I groan, partially because he’s annoying me, and partially because he’s hot as heck right now, which is equally irritating. “Yeah, well, did you learn how to be an ass in medical school? Because I’m starting to believe you really are a professional.”
He pulls back, dropping his smug expression when he realizes I’ve actually cussed at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …” He swallows hard. “I thought we were just kidding around. But … I guess I read the situation wrong.”
I frown. It’d be easier to stay angry at him if he’d stop being so insightful and sweet. “You did,” is all I say.
“I wasn’t making fun of you or your lack of experience. I just thought I’d keep things light to make you feel more comfortable about opening up. I want you to know you can trust me with anything.” He pauses and waits for me to nod before he adds, “And I promise I won’t tease you about stuff like this again.”
“Okay,” I whisper, my chin trembling against my will. I’m starting to regret all those apology-tutoring sessions.
“No, please don’t …” He shakes his head, looking entirely too contrite. “I really am sorry. What can I do to make you feel better?”
A short make out session would do the trick. Or even an admission that you see me as an actual adult woman.
“Don’t worry about it,” I mumble instead. “This whole conversation took a wrong turn from the beginning.”
“Then let’s start over, please. I hate leaving you upset like this.” He reaches for my hand, practically begging me to forgive him.
I wipe a tear from my cheek. “I’m not even sure what I meant in the first place anymore,” I lie.
“Hey, look at me. If this has anything to do with you thinking you’re holding me back from something better, then you’re wrong. Maybe our relationship isn’t conventional, and I know you’re still looking forward to finding the man you’re really supposed to marry, but for now, I like things the way they are. In fact, it’s kind of perfect, if you ask me.” He shrugs shyly before he continues. “You make me feel comfortable, like I can really be myself. And I’ve never felt that way with anyone else, not even with Rowan or my own family. We can be completely honest with one another, and we’re both good at sensing what the other needs. I mean, who really needs sex or romance or any of the other shit that goes along with a traditional marriage when it’s this easy?”
My lips part in shock, yet he’s smiling at me as if it’s the best thing he’s ever said. He might think he’s just given me the greatest compliment in the world as opposed to twisting a knife into my heart, but I’m leaning toward the latter.
“People who want kids, I suppose,” I spit out awkwardly.
“What?” he asks, furrowing his brow.
“As you so often like to remind me, you can’t make babies without having sex. So yeah, Landry,Ineed those things, eventually.”
His smile falters. “Of course, you deserve it—and I’ll do anything to make sure you get all that one day. I just meant thatwedon’t need … I mean, this works for now, right?” He gestures between us, and I absorb another invisible blow to the chest.
I shake my head. “I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But this is not enough, for either of us. It shouldn’t be. And you’re obviously not as good as you think at sensing what I need.”
He stares back at me, his face panic-stricken. “I’m not?” he asks after a while.
“Not even close,” I whisper before I turn on my heels to march away.
CHAPTER 29
landry
My head poundswhen I roll over in bed the next morning. At least I don’t have to go into the clinic today. And I’m not on call, since I told the other doctors I was going out of town for Thanksgiving.
Then my tonsils rub together when I try to swallow, and I whimper.
I’m definitely sick.
There was a strep outbreak in Camellia this week, and judging from the imaginary hammer hitting my head and shards of glass lodged in my throat, I’ve picked it up from one of my patients.
I attempt to sit up in bed, but the room immediately spins, and I’m forced to fall back onto my pillow.
I’m still breathing through the dizzy spell when my phone pings on my nightstand. It takes me a second to get to it, despite the short distance. There’s a message from Daisy. She’s letting me know that Rowan’s on his way to pick her up and take her to Baton Rouge to spend Thanksgiving with her family and not to expect her back until later this weekend.
I sigh and rub a hand over my face. I was supposed to bring her there myself, but I suppose she wasn’t in the mood to spend a two-hour car ride with me after our awkward interaction last night. I’m still not sure where I went wrong, but I really upset her this time.
Eh, maybe that’s not the whole truth. I think I knowwhatI said to upset her. I’m just at a loss as to how to fix it or make it up to her. It turns out that Daisy’s much more sensitive about the whole virginity thing than she’s been letting on. She’d joked about it before, so I thought it was fair game. But I was wrong—very wrong.
To top it all off, the whole conversation only started because she’d walked in on me fresh out of the shower. It should have felt uncomfortable, but her reaction to seeing me was entirely too … flattering. It was also a reminder of my responsibility to protect her innocence, at least when it comes to our relationship.
