His lips twitch, but he keeps his face blank. “Good enough.”
CHAPTER 20
landry
I throw backanother glass of champagne while I watch my baby sister’s first dance with her husband. They’d shown up late to their own wedding reception just now, both of them wearing smug expressions that could only mean one thing. I may have a hard time reading people, but it was pretty obvious that they’d managed to sneak in some “marital activities.” And if it wasn’t enough that I had to pretend not to notice, Blake’s brother made sure we all knew exactly what took them so long to get here with the corny and inappropriate jokes he cracked during his wedding toast.
I’d say I should have been the one making that toast, but the truth is that I’m not capable of delivering a speech that manages to make everyone laugh and cry within the same sitting. And even if I were, I’d never do it as well as JD.
My eyes search the room until I find my mom again. She’s sipping what I hope is the plain Coke I secured for her a while ago. She’s spent the last eight years completely sober, to the best of my knowledge, but I’m still going to have to watch her all night. She and Tenley’s mom are on babysitting duty, which I’m hoping will keep her occupied.
I’m still concerned about the twins being around all these people and their germs with their compromised preemie immune systems, though.
And I can’t help but worry about Tenley and JD’s baby boy being out here in the same cesspool, too. Heisone of my patients.
Then there’s Daisy. I also have to make sure she’s safe and seizure-free.
I sigh, thinking I might need another drink.
“You gonna be okay, Lan?” I hear my older sister ask as she sits across from me at the empty table I’ve been occupying.
“Yeah,” I reply shortly. “Just trying to let all this sink in.”
It’s a lie, though. I’m over the whole “allegedly reformed player marrying my sister” part. I’m honestly not even sure why I’m angry at this point.
Lilley chuckles. “Good, because it’s a little late to object now,” she says, gesturing to the dance floor.
Blake is leaning down to whisper something into Loren’s ear as they continue dancing to Hoobastank’s “The Reason,” which seems nauseatingly cheesy now that I think about it, and she smiles and flutters her eyes before she turns to lay her head on his chest. Then I notice that her feet aren’t even touching the ground anymore. He’s holding her up while he sways and turns them in a circle. And she’s just … letting him.
It’s been so hard to wrap my mind around this version of her, of them together. But even I can’t deny that she looks happy.
I don’t even think I’m upset anymore.
I want to be happy for Loren. Iwantto give in to that warmth creeping into my chest. I want to let go of the resentment and smile and celebrate with my family. I want to be friends with my sister again. I want her and Blake to know I love and support them, and I want them to enjoy my company.
But why do I still feel like shit? Why can’t I stop brooding and lashing out all the time?
I huff and reach across the table to snatch a half-emptied glass of champagne and knock it back in one gulp. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I ask after a while.
“She’s a grown woman, Landry,” Lilley reminds me with a smile. “She’s a mama with her own family to care for and a husband who’s more than happy to take care of her. You’re off the hook … not that she was ever your responsibility in the first place.”
“Sure, she wasn’t,” I mutter under my breath.
Lilley sighs. “I’m sorry you felt that way. But you chose to?—”
“Someone had to do it,” I cut her off.
I catch the way she winces before she presses her lips into a hard line. “It wasn’t your job.” Then she pauses and reaches out to brush her hand over mine. “You did it well, though. Be proud of yourself. Of Loren.”
“I am proud of her. She’s a good mom.” I clear my throat awkwardly before adding, “And so are you, Lil.”
She tugs her hand back. “Wow. That sounded painful.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, furrowing my brow.
“It just seems like the things that bring everyone else joy make you miserable instead,” she mumbles, shaking her head.
I nod silently before I spot another glass left unattended. I take a sip before starting again. “Well, I’m doing my best. I don’t know what you want from me.”
