He stops again and sighs, as if this next part requires more courage to say. “I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, and I’ve always struggled to balance the anxious overthinking with actually thinking before I act. You already know I get mean when I’m overstimulated or stressed. I wanted to join the military, but I was afraid of failing the psychological eval, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave my family. It ended up being for the best, though, since I enjoy being a pediatrician. I’m horrible in most social situations, except for when I get to work with kids. They’re honest and blunt, and they accept my help. And helping people is the only thing that makes me feel good.”
My heart swells when I realize what he’s doing, and it takes all I have to keep my eyes from watering as I pick up where he left off. “I don’t mind teaching, but I don’t love it, either. I’m only doing it because no one believes I can handle anything else. My family never supported my plans to move out or start a career, but when Rowan suggested I come to Camellia to take Loren’s place for a while, my parents actually encouraged me to give it a try. They said this would be a perfect fit, since teachers get such great health benefits and all that time off. But I think they only backed me this time because it’s a temporary setup. All they saw was the chance for me to get this out of my system without leaving as big of a mess behind when I fail.”
He frowns. “What do you really want to do with your life?”
I lift a shoulder. “I guess I haven’t thought that far ahead. I just want to be self-sufficient for now.” It’s only a half-truth, but I’m not confident in any other answers.
“Okay, then. That’s what we’ll work on until I move out,” he says, his voice firm but gentle.
Warmth spreads throughout my chest, and a smile overtakes my face. “Only if you let me help you, too.”
He sighs as if he’s unsure whether to acknowledge my offer. “How could you possibly help me?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I answer honestly. “But don’t worry. I won’t force you to accept a payment toward my marital debt.” I feel myself blushing again as I deliver the last part, especially when he doesn’t laugh. I glance over and see him looking confused as he pulls into a gas station parking lot.
“Need anything inside?” he asks gruffly, and I shake my head, still embarrassed because my suggestive joke fell flat. He returns a few minutes later, empty handed.
“You didn’t get any snacks at all?” I ask, my voice laced with disappointment.
“No. Because you said you didn’t want anything. And I didn’t want anything. Hence, nothing.”
I pout. “You really don’t know how this works, do you?”
“Not a clue,” he replies, smiling.
“When a woman says she doesn’t want a snack, it’s because she’s too shy to ask for one, or she’s so hangry that she doesn’t know what she wants to eat,” I explain.
“And how would you know this stuff if you haven’t been in relationships either?”
“I’ve lived with a lot of women over the years, Landry,” I retort mockingly. “And it’s not like I’ve never dated at all. It’s just hard to progress with either my epilepsy or my virginity getting in the way.”
He frowns. “There are guys out there who refused to date you because of something you can’t control?”
I notice he only addresses the epilepsy part of my confession. “Yes, but most of the time my health has been the problem. I can’t saddle someone I barely know with this kind of life, not when they don’t understand.”
“They’re idiots if they can’t see what they’re missing out on,” he says. “And if any man ever pressures you into sleeping with him, even if he says he’s willing to marry you, I want to know his name.”
I roll my eyes, unable to stifle a smile. “Don’t worry. Some guy is offering to take me off the market for the next few months, and I’m thinking I’m going to accept him.”
He grunts. “I heard he’s an asshole, though.”
“Nope. But he does have some of thosetendencies.”
CHAPTER 10
landry
“So,how is it being back home?” Rowan poses as we sit on the front porch of his parents’ house together. I’d gone for a short visit at my mom’s before returning to pick up Daisy and found him waiting out here when I drove up.
I heave out an exhale. “It’s been … well, it hasn’t been easy after everything that’s happened with Loren and the babies.”
He nods knowingly. “I’m glad they’re all okay, but that’s not what I meant. How have you been getting along with your family?”
I frown, slightly offended. “Good enough.”
“And you’re fine with the engagement?”
My stomach and my jaw both drop, and it takes a full three seconds for me to realize he’s referring to Blake’s proposal to my sister and not my proposal to his. Although Rowan and I had spoken about Loren’s emergency delivery a few times, I hadn’t mentioned her engagement. But Daisy must be keeping him posted on the latest developments.
