He steps in closer, fixing his gaze on my face. “Daisy, are you nervous because you find me attractive?” he asks carefully.
My knees threaten to give out beneath me, and I gulp hard before I manage to form a reply. “I—it shouldn’t matter, right? I assumed you didn’t intend to leave room for those kinds of feelings in our arrangement.”
“No, I didn’t,” he confirms, his voice deep.
“Then I’m afraid my answer would only keep us from going through with your plan.”
“And I thought you just said you wanted to hash all this out now.” He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter, and I’m proud of myself when I manage to keep my eyes on his face this time.
“So you’d rather know the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. If we’re going to make this plan work, then you can’t expect me to spend every second decoding our interactions and worrying about forming an appropriate reply. Socializing is exhausting for me, and I don’t want to keep lashing out at you every time I get overwhelmed.”
I nod. “That’s fair. So how can I make it easier for you?”
“Just tell me what you’re thinking, and don’t worry about hurting my feelings.”
“Should we make it a thing that we’re always completely honest with one another, even when it’s embarrassing and awkward?” I offer.
He exhales, his posture immediately looking more relaxed. “Yes, please.”
“Okay, then. We’ll start now.” I lift my chin to look him in the eyes. “Since you asked, I think you’re a very handsome man, Landry, but I’m going to disregard that because we’ve both agreed to a platonic relationship. The last thing I want is to risk making you uncomfortable, especially since you don’t find me attractive.”
He blinks at me, looking surprised by my candidness. “I never said I didn’t find you attractive.”
And now I’m wondering whether I didn’t splash hot coffee on my face at some point.
“You … you have, though. Just not in so many words,” I choke out.
“I haven’t been allowing myself to think of you that way at all, since nothing good could possibly come of it,” he explains, staring at me with a solemn expression. “I can’t be tempted to take you up on any offers later if there’s a chance you end up feeling like you owe me something. It’d be like I was taking advantage of you.”
I bite my lip. “I see. I don’t think we’re in danger of anything like that happening, though.” We’re both quiet for a minute before I go on. “This probably won’t come as a surprise to you, but between my disability and the way my parents sheltered me for so long, I’ve missed out on a lot of life experience, particularly when it comes to dating and relationships.”
“So, you’re also nervous because you haven’t been around a lot of men in their underwear before now?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.
“At least none that aren’t related to me,” I say with a shrug.
He furrows his brow. “Then by a lack ofexperience, you mean?—”
“I’m a virgin, Landry. But I’m thinking you should have guessed that by now,” I retort dryly.
“Oh.” His eyes grow wider before he seemingly catches himself and tries to look aloof again.
“That’s why I’m sure I’m not going to end up throwing myself at you. Because that’s not an offer I extend to anyone outside of marriage—I mean, a real marriage,” I add the last part quietly.
He nods and clears his throat. “I assume this is some of the stuff you wanted to discuss on the ride to Baton Rouge?”
“Exactly,” I confirm.
“Right. Well, um, not that you’re asking, but I guess you’d want to know that I’m … not … inexperienced.”
I bite back a smile at the way he fidgets, as if he’s just remembered he’s in his underwear. “I didn’t expect you were.”
“I’m obviously not like, as bad as Blake used to be or anything. I’m just … I mean, I’ve had …” He shrugs and reaches up to scratch the back of his head.
“Somewhere in between, then?” I ask, unable to contain my grin this time.
He purses his lips. “Yeah. Let’s go with that.”
