“So why couldn’t you sleep last night?” I pose as I crack an egg. “Loren told me you guys talked everything out, and you sounded okay in your texts.”
“Talking to my sister got me thinking … about you, about us. And I felt like I needed to see you right away and tell you about it, even though it seems kind of stupid now,” he rambles nervously.
“No, no,” I reassure him. “I’m glad you’re here. I really did miss you, even if it was only for one night, and I want to hear what’s on your mind.”
He shakes his head, then he smiles adorably. “There’s a lot on my mind this time. It was a long night without you.”
I bite my lip and take a step closer, reaching out to brush my fingertips over his shirt. “Well, then, maybe we shouldn’t spend the night apart again.”
His confidence grows in front of me, and he pulls me in for a short kiss before backing away just enough to graze his nose over mine. Then he goes in to kiss me again, as if he’d planned to stop but couldn’t resist coming back for more.
“Daisy,” he begins once he finally comes up for air, “I’m moving out.”
“What?”
He gazes at me and slides his hands up to cup my cheeks. “I can’t live with you anymore,” he says softly. “Because I’m in love with you.”
The joy I feel after hearing him say that is only slightly overshadowed by the part about him leaving me. “I love you, too,” I manage, “but I don’t understand.”
“Last night brought up some big feelings for me, both good and bad. And as much as it sucked in the moment, I think I was able to resolve some of the stuff with my family that’s been holding me back all this time. I know it probably seems like I’ve been avoiding commitment because I’m afraid of getting hurt, but the truth is that I never trusted myself not to screw it all up. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting someone I loved the same way I seem to hurt my friends and family all the time, so I convinced myself that it was all too reckless.”
“I’m sorry you felt that way for so long. And I’m glad you worked through a lot of it,” I say, furrowing my brow. “But the only way you can hurt me now is by pulling away from me.”
He shakes his head. “I know that. And even though screwing up is inevitable, I also learned about this thing called an apology, which makes relationships seem a little less risky.” I laugh softly before he goes on. “Then I thought if there was ever someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life apologizing to, someone I’d give my last breath to make sure she was happy, it’s you. Because I love you, Daisy. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel so safe and loved, like I can be myself. And I can’t stand being apart from you, either.” He pauses and gulps before he continues. “I’m pretty sure that means I want to make you my wife for real, because I’ve finally figured out what I need to be happy, and it all comes back to you.”
“Wow,” I spit out breathlessly. “I … I don’t know what to say.”
He smirks. “That’s a first, right?”
I nod. “Mm-hmm.”
“That’s okay. I know something else we can do for a while until you find your voice again.”
This time he slides his right hand up to cup my jaw as he grasps my hip with the left and urges me closer to him. His fingertips curl around and dig into the fabric of my dress as he leans in to kiss me. He surprises me by pushing his tongue into my mouth immediately and pressing his body against mine, warming me from the inside out. It’s slow and tender but heated and hungry at the same time. My arms drape around his neck, and he moves his right hand down to my backside so that he’s almost lifting me.
“This is why,” he says in between kisses, “I’m moving out, just for now.”
“Hmm?” I squeak. I’d all but forgotten that point.
His mouth travels down to my neck as he continues. “I want to be your real husband. I want to give you all the things a husband gives his wife, and I want us to start right now.”
“You do?” I ask breathlessly.
“Very, very badly,” he growls, his beard scraping my skin. “So much so that I’m willing to do anything for it, even if it means amending our wedding vows.”
“Is that so?” I manage to croak out.
“Yes. But I imagine we’d need to make it official, in church this time, with all our friends and family there to witness our first consecrated make out session.”
I tilt my head back as he nips at my shoulder. “Let me guess … you’re afraid I’m going to let you start collecting on that marital debt now, and you think moving out is going to minimize the opportunity for that to happen?”
“That’s part of it, yes. But I also need to prove to you that I’ve really changed my mind about marriage and that I’m not just conceding for the extracurriculars.” He pulls away and smiles as he runs a fingertip down my arm, making me shiver.
I press my lips together, stifling a grin. “You’re so smushy,” I accidentally say.
“I’m what?” He studies me carefully.
“Smushy,” I repeat, my cheeks darkening. “Sexy and mushy at the same time.”
