I arch my back up from the wall and clutch desperately at his shirt sleeves, and he hums his approval into my mouth. Then he palms my thighs and moves to lift me in front of him before abruptly dropping his hands and taking a step back, to my disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he begins, cringing and licking his swollen lips, “but I should go … I just … I need to be somewhere else for a little while.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” I reply breathlessly, yanking him down to me. He gives me another short kiss before he backs away again.
“You don’t understand. This is why I couldn’t even consider letting anything happen between us before. It’s all I can think about now. It’s only been a few hours, and I’m already struggling with this self-regulation stuff.”
“So, youdowant me the way I want you?” I ask hesitantly.
“I don’t know if I can accurately convey my enthusiasm without using language you wouldn’t appreciate,” he replies, his tone deep. “But, yes, I want you.”
I shiver as another flash of heat runs through me. “I was a little worried you were still just going along with all the flirting and kissing because you felt sorry for me,” I admit.
He groans again and reaches behind me to trail a fingertip down my back. “Shit, Daisy. I’ve been fighting this since the moment I walked in on you in the kitchen. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to keep myself from thinking about you? From fantasizing about your sexy freckles … to keep my hands to myself when you’re right there, looking so damned hot all the time?”
He leans in to kiss me again but stops short, and I’m slightly concerned that he may have just taken my virginity without even touching me.
“I’m sorry. I think all that pent-up attraction from the past few months is hitting me at once. And if we keep going, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop,” he warns me, his voice rough and his fingers digging into my sides beneath the hem of my shirt. “At least, not unless you ask me to.”
“Then don’t,” I say softly and brush my lips over his again.
“I need you to set some boundaries,” he pleads between kisses. “Now, before I push you too far, especially while we’re home alone with nothing and no one to stop us.”
“And what if I’ve changed my mind? What if I don’t want to wait?—”
He stops abruptly. “You finish that offer, and I’m not touching you again. Do you understand me?” His eyes flash to mine, and I can see the anger and disgust in his expression.
I shrink back into the door frame. “Would it really be so bad for you?”
“I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let you break that vow, much less if I were to put your health and safety at risk by getting you pregnant. So, yes, it would be the worst, the most selfish thing I could do.”
“But even if I got cleared by my doctor to have a baby, you still don’t believe in marriage. So I guess that means we’ll just never have a physical relationship?” I fire back.
His sighs, softening his expression. “Hey, I’m working on it, okay? You told me you’d give me some time to wrap my head around all this, and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours,” he reminds me, ironically sounding much more composed than I do at the moment.
I frown. He’s right. I did promise him that much. “Okay.”
He locks his eyes onto mine. “Full transparency?”
I nod, furrowing my brow, and he brings a hand up to my cheek. “I wasn’t lying when I told you sex has never been very meaningful for me. But this already feels different. And even though I know it can’t happen right away, I think I’m already nervous because I want to make it perfect for you. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of time to imagine what it’ll be like, and I’m worried I won’t live up to your expectations.”
“And I toldyouthat I don’t have any expectations,” I reply, though it’s not completely true. Because he’s been the only man my imagination casts in that role for some time now.
He ignores me, his chest rising and falling as he continues gazing down at me with a stormy look on his face. “I’m also afraid of hurting you. You know, physically.”
I force a smile, though I feel a bit like a melted popsicle. “I’ve spent my whole life being handled like I was breakable. You’re the first person to treat me like an adult, and the only one who doesn’t sugarcoat everything just to spare me. I can’t have you going soft on me now.”
His throat bobs as he leans down to kiss me again. “Daisy?” he asks when he pulls away.
“Hmm?” I can’t even open my eyes at this point.
“I think I was wrong when I assumed it would bother you—the fact that I haven’t saved myself the way you have. But you like that I know what I’m doing, don’t you? You like that I’m older and more experienced.”
“Maybe,” I barely get out. I’m also having a difficult time staying on my feet, and I’m afraid I might slump down the wall like that slushy popsicle sliding off its stick.
His mouth curls up into a cocky smirk. “And having a husband who’s confident and trustworthy but who’s also not afraid to get a little rough with you ... that turns you on, doesn’t it, Blondie?”
My stomach swoops. “Yes. I like it,” I whisper. Okay, so it’s more like a whimper at this point. But Landry would rather eat a popsicle without the stick anyway, right?
