We ate in companionable silence for a while, the kind that felt easy and warm, punctuated only by the sound of Gia’s laughter. I caught her out of the corner of my eye, spinning herself dizzy on a tire swing.
“I missed this,” Alexander said suddenly, his voice low enough that I almost didn’t hear him.
I looked over at him, confused. “Missed what?”
“This.” He gestured vaguely, his hand sweeping over the scene in front of us. “Spending time together just because we want to. No cameras, no headlines, no Anna breathing down our necks.” He paused, his gaze fixed on Gia as she waved enthusiastically at us from the monkey bars. “I want more days like this.”
My stomach flipped, but I tried to play it cool. “You mean getting tackled by an almost three-year-old and carrying half her weight up a hill?”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I meanthis.Being with you. With her. Not because we’re trying to sell some story, but just because…it feels right.”
My throat tightened, and I took a sip of the sparkling water to give myself a moment to think. “It’s not exactly part of the plan,” I said lightly, though my voice came out quieter than I intended.
“Screw the plan,” he said, and when I turned to look at him, his expression was entirely serious. “The plan is just something Anna cooked up to keep everyone happy. But this? This is what makes me happy.”
I stared at him, completely disarmed. My brain scrambled to come up with something clever to say, but all I could think about was the way his eyes softened when he talked about Gia, the way he laughed when she teased him, and the way he looked at me now.
“Alex!” Gia’s voice broke through the moment, and we both turned to see her standing triumphantly at the top of the slide. “Watch me!”
He grinned, standing up and cupping his hands around his mouth. “I’m watching, superstar!”
She slid down with a squeal, her arms in the air like she’d just conquered Mount Everest.
“She’s the best part of my life,” I said softly, surprising myself with the admission.
“I know,” he replied, sitting back down beside me. “You’re allowed to let someone else in too.”
I glanced at him, the sincerity in his voice making my chest ache. Sometimes it was like he could see right through me, right down to my soul. Just casually bringing up my biggest issue. It was so hard to let others in fully. To lean on anyone. Somewhere down the line, after being let down too many times by too many people, I stopped. Why rely on others when I had myself.
“You know,” Alexander said softly, “I see you.” It was only three words. A simple sentence, really, but I knew what he meant—we were similar in that way; our walls were different, but we both relied on ourselves, focused on that, didn’t want help or expect it.
“It’s kind of annoying.” I shook my head and let the silence settle as we watched my daughter playing and showing off tricks.
“Well, if you keep looking, you’ll notice that I’m okay on my own.”
“Of course you are,” he replied easily. “But you don’t have to be on your own all the time. There’s a whole village of people who love you.”
“Oh yeah?” I teased, trying to keep it casual, but he doubled down instead.
“I do the same, you know.” He sighed.
“I know,” I replied gently, turning to him. He looked angelic, the sunlight casting through the trees on his skin. The winged tattoo on his neck was on display.
“When did you get this one?” I asked, nodding at his neck. His hand went to it immediately.
“Sometime last year.”
“It reminds me of a poem I read the summer I found out I was pregnant,” I admitted. His eyes caught mine as I recalled part of the poem.
“‘These wings are mine; I built, I grew. No chains can hold, no sky deny. For I am the storm, the boundless sky,’” Alexander recited, looking to the clouds. My heart stopped.
“You read it?” I asked, shock flooding me. I had a book of poems with me that I carried around like a security blanket when I was pregnant. It was filled with these gorgeous poems all about starting new and being brave.
“You brought it with you everywhere,” he replied.
“Yeah, but I would have noticed if you were reading it!”
“It was a day by the lake, you and Matteo went swimming, your back was hurting, so you were floating. Remember that giant pink floatie your dad bought you? You were out there for an hour, sleeping under the sun, Matteo rigged a rope to it so you wouldn’t float too far.” He looked far away, as if recalling the day. “I read the whole thing.”
