I glanced around and behind me, but my escort seemed to have disappeared like magic. “I don’t know where she went, but Jamaica brought me here.”
Chess planted one delicate hand on her hip, her eyes narrowed. “Of course she did.” For one terrible second, I thought she was going to leave me alone in the hallway. Then she opened the door wider and said, “You’d better come in. I don’t need to get reported for having an unescorted man at my door.”
After I stepped into her room, she closed the door behind me, and for the first time in two long weeks, I was in the same room with the woman who haunted my dreams and most of my waking moments too.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chessly
The absolute lastperson I expected to see on the other side of my door was Finn McCabe. More than anything, I wanted to wring my best friend’s neck for dropping him at my door.
Or hug her.
I wasn’t completely sure.
God, he looked wonderful, all broad and strong and gorgeous.Why did he have to be so handsome?He took up so much damn space in my shoebox of a room. And he smelled so good, like outside and something distinctlyhim. But as I looked closer, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the beard stubble, the kind of defeated posture that squeezed my heart.
For a long moment, we took each other in. Then I asked, “Why are you here?”
“I need to talk to you, but you won’t return my texts or DMs.”
Truthfully, I hadn’t opened any of his messages. I was too afraid of what they would do to me.
Remembering my manners, I reached over and pulled my desk chair around for him. “Please, have a seat.”
I grabbed a pillow and pulled it to my chest as I sat against the headboard on my bed. Drawing my knees up, I wished I’d had some kind of warning he’d be coming by tonight. I would have been dressed for the occasion at least, rather than wearing a ratty old pair of tights, an oversize Balefire T-shirt, and no bra.
“Are you a fan of the band?” He nodded in the direction of my shirt.
“Yeah. They’re awesome.”
He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up on one side. “The director for our last NIL commercial shoot for Stromboli’s comped us tickets to their show at the fieldhouse next month.”
“Lucky you. I heard their shows are epic.” I desperately wanted that word back after it slipped out to remind me of the best date of my life. Snuggling my pillow closer, I bit my lip and tried to calm myself down.
“Chess. I’m sorry. Until that day at the Union, I hadn’t seen my ex in almost three years. Hearing her say those things—fuck, it dredged up so much shit.” He blew out a breath. “I reacted badly.” Clasping his hands between his knees, he stared down at the floor and then found my eyes again. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re nothing like her. Seeing her again put me back in a dark place. If I could take those terrible words back, I would in a heartbeat.” His body seemed to vibrate with intensity, as though he was willing me to believe him. “You’d never treat anyone the way she treated me. You’d never say those things. I know that.” Those gorgeous whiskey eyes pleaded with me. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. That weekend we spent together was the best time I’ve ever had.” He reached out then dropped his hand. “Hannah’s right about one thing—I fuck up with women. I try hard not to, but I’m not cool like Callahan or lacking a give-a-shitter like Bax or experienced like Danny. But I think I could get it right more times than I fuck it up with you if you’ll give me another chance.”
I’d never heard Finn say so many words in one go. But it was the way he held himself, like he was willing me to see him, hear him—the real him, the man who was laying his heart on the line—that crashed through the walls I’d built to protect myself from him.
Still, I needed him to know. “I’m not a jersey chaser or a mean girl like your ex, or Tory Miller. When you said I’d eventually be like them... It hurt so much that you could think for a second I could act like them, devastate people the way they do every time they open their ugly mouths.”
“I know, Chess. I know. You’re sassy and sarcastic, but never mean.” Air gusted from him, then he whispered, “When I’m with you I feel seen—and safe.”
Unfolding my body from my perch on my bed, I stood and stepped over to him, seating myself on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. For a second, he hesitated, then he enfolded me in his massive arms, hugging me tight as he buried his face in my neck.
“These past two weeks without you have been the longest of my life,” he said into my skin.
“I know.”
Pulling back, his gaze seared into mine. “While we might have only had one real date, I’m all in with you. You have to know that.”
A smirk tugged the corner of my mouth. “What about all our study dates? Don’t those count?” An awful thought invaded and I asked, “Or were you seeing other girls after we started studying together?”
“The jersey chasers gave me attention at a time when I needed it. They also didn’t demand anything of me.”
