“I don’t,” I protest.
“Yes, you do, because I told you before that I was only going to be gentle this one time.”He pulls away, a warning look flashing over his face.
“And then what?”What does he mean?I wasn’t taking it all in before.I was so nervous, so wrapped up in this moment that I’d imagined for so long, that I wasn’t thinking about what he was saying.
“Then, Hayami, I will fuck you how I know you want it.”
“How do I want it?”I’m confused now.What the hell does he mean?
His eyes narrow, and his head dips.“All those times, Hayami, when I’ve had to restrain you, when I’ve held you down and you’ve bitten me, scratched me, fought me as if your life depended on it, tell me it didn’t turn you on.”
I gulp.
Because he’s right.Nothing made me wetter than when I’ve fought with him, when he’s chased me, when I’ve known he’ll catch me, and when he does, I’ll get to feel his hands on me, rough and unyielding.
“How?”
“I could see it in your eyes, felt it in your body.You wanted it that way, and I’ll give you what you want, but it’ll be different.There will be rules.”
“What rules?”Just talking about this is getting me worked up again.
“You need to remember that it’s all part of the game, the things I’ll say to you, things I will make you do.And it might go too far.So, we need a safe word.”
“Can’t I just say stop?”I’m shaking now.Fear, adrenaline, anticipation, all of it one big fucking cocktail.
“‘Stop’ won’t cut it,” Fenrir says.“You’ll be telling me to stop, begging me to stop, when really you don’t want me to stop at all.That’s all part of the game.We need a word that we both know means that it has to end.One word.It can’t be mistaken for anything else, a clear word.You need to tell me what that word is.”
Shit.This feels so heavy, yet I’ve never felt desire like it.One word.Think.
And then I have it.
“Kemono.”
“Kemono,” Fenrir repeats.“What does it mean?”
“It’s Japanese for ‘beast.’”He quirks his eyebrow.“That’s what I called you in my head when we first met.I called you the Beast.”
“I should feel hurt.”
“Don’t.It was a compliment.And now I know it’s true.You are a beast.Mybeast.”
FORTY-FIVE
FENRIR
PRESENT
“Mybeast.”
Those two little words unhinge me.
Hayami looks at me and then down at my torso.
“Can I touch them?”
She’s referring to my scars.Apart from the ones on my face when she’d held my head earlier, she managed to avoid touching the ones that run down the side of my body whilst I fucked her.I’m not sure if she intentionally avoided them, but even so, the fact that she’s asked for permission shows she knows how sensitive I am about them.
“Why would you want to?”
