No escape.
Right now, that’s exactly what I want.I don’t want there to be a reason to leave.I don’t want things to return to the way they were.That would mean returning to a life I have no control over, a life I have no say in, and a future I want nothing to do with.
There’d been a moment, in the car driving back from the store, when I considered telling Fenrir exactly what my father has planned for me.The reason why he found me floating facedown in the pool, and why I’ve been acting so recklessly over the last six months.But I didn’t.Because I know that if I’d told him, he would’ve taken the other road.Of that, I’m sure.And I can only imagine what that road would have led to.
Being hunted.
Being found.
Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I see a text from Willa.
Hey, hope you’re both okay and you guys haven’t killed each other yet!All is well with Marta and the baby.I’m going to catch the next flight out and be back with you guys soon.
I type out a quick reply, telling her not to even think about leaving Marta, and that we’re both fine.
My mind floats back to the conversation with Kevin.I register the time and wonder what state my mother will be in.Will she be drunk?High?Delirious?Neurotic?Any mixture of these is possible.But I have to speak to her.
The phone rings six times before she picks up.
“Hayami.”She’s breathless, as if she’s been running.
“Hey, Mum.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” she says as I try to work out whether her words are slow and slurred or fast and frantic.To my surprise, they sound relatively clear for my mum.“How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“And Willa and Fenrir?Are they both okay?Is everyone okay?”I hear it now, the panic, the desperation.She may not be drunk or drugged up, but there’s a restlessness about her, as if she’s been silent for so long and suddenly found her voice.
“Yeah, we’re all good.Are you okay?”I ask.“How’s Hanover House?”
There’s a pause, and I wonder which of my two questions she’s having to think about before she answers.“I’m fine.I’ve left Hanover House, though, and am back at the mansion.I couldn’t bear to be away, not knowing what’s happening.”
“Oh, okay.Well, I was calling because…” I swap my phone to the other hand as I think carefully about what I’m about to say.“Willa popped out to the store today, just to stock up on supplies because it’s supposed to snow in the next few days.She said that she got chatting to the guy who owned the store—Kevin, I think she said his name was—and he mentioned you.Told her he knew you and was asking about you.”
I wait.She’s still there.I can hear her breathing.
“Oh yes, Kevin.Gosh, it’s been such a long time.Kevin was always so lovely.How is he?”I try to pick up on any intonations, but her reply is mechanical, careful even.
“Willa said he was okay, real nice, and seemed eager to chat.I just wanted to let you know.It sounds like he was a friend of yours.”I try not to let this sound like a question.
“He was.He delivered to the house, and I was quite lonely up there.You’re not lonely, are you?”
“No, Mum, I’m fine.I have Fenrir and Willa, and my studies are keeping me busy.To be honest, it’s been nice to get away from things.”
Another pause.
“I understand, but I need you to be careful.”Her words are slow—not chemically induced slow, but as if she’s treading cautiously.
“Because of the Castros?”I plant the seed, wondering if anything will grow from it.
“Not just that.I just want you to be… well, I just want you to be safe.”
“I don’t think it gets much safer than being in the middle of nowhere with two bodyguards for company.”
I feel bad, lying to my mum about Willa being here, but she’s holding back on me.She knows something and isn’t telling me what it is.
“Of course, you’re right.Your father has made sure you’re safe up there.”
