“I don’t know what you want,” I admit.
“It’s simple. Death or you. Kill me or keep me. Stab me, or I fuck you.” He pulls my hand back up to his chest, the knife pressing into his flesh. “The choice is yours.”
“Shit. I can’t….”
“I know you want this. Your dreams were a testament to that. So wet for me. So pliant. But you won’t allow me to give it toyou because of who I am. You need to stop thinking about what’s right and what’s wrong.”
The room is hot. Too hot. I can’t think straight. I have no logical reasons for this choice because none of this feels logical.
“And what does that say about me? What kind of person wants to fuck the man who killed her brother? What does that make me?”
“It makes you mine.” He almost growls this.
“Fuck.” I wish I’d taken that drink now.
“Will this make it easier?” He takes the knife from my hand and moves behind me. “I can fuck you at knifepoint. Then when you wake tomorrow, guilt swarming you for what you allowed me to do, you can tell yourself that I made you do it, that you didn’t have a choice.” His lips brush my ear. “You are safe here, but I can’t promise I won’t hurt you; those promises are for the weak. We don’t go through life not hurting those closest to us.”
My pulse reverberates in my ears, drumming at my insides like it’s goading me.
“Tell me to stop, and I will. Just say the word.” His voice is like a hypnotic fog clouding my brain.
“I don’t want you to stop.” And I don’t. He’s right. This is fucked up. I told myself I came here tonight because I needed him to reach my brother, but I know that’s not the only reason. I do need him, but I alsowanthim. I can’t deny how upset I’ve been when I wake and realise every dream is just that—a dream, none of it real.
But this is real.Heis real. He doesn’t have to be a dream.
The cold of the blade caresses my neck as Valdemar pulls the zip the rest of the way down the back of my dress. “Take it off.”
Keeping my head still because of the knife, I slide my arms out of my dress and let it drop to the floor. Valdemar cuts through the straps of the scabbard and pulls it from my body.
Now, wearing only my underwear, I feel the burn from the roaring fire and the heat from Valdemar’s skin.
“I haven’t touched a woman in ten years, not in the flesh. And even then, my dream was only you. Always you.”
The knife comes back up to my throat, and I let out a yelp.
“Go stand by the desk,” he instructs.
I do as he says, and he moves with me, the knife never leaving my delicate skin. Placing his other hand in the middle of my back, he pushes me over the desk, moving the knife away so I don’t slit my own throat.
My cheek rests against the hardwood, my high heels straining my calves.
“The view of you bent over my desk is worth living for.” His words are as sharp as the blade he uses to cut through my underwear before tugging the material from around my legs, leaving me in only my bra. “You have no idea how many times I pictured you like this.”
Despite the warmth of the room, a cold draft works its way over my flesh and winds its way between my legs, making me feel even more exposed.
“Fucking beautiful, angel. And you don’t need to worry about the guests in the hall, as they won’t hear any of your screams; they’re for my ears only.”
The cold metal slides up the back of my leg, sending a shiver through my core. There’s nothing inside my head except him, his touch, and the knife. I want to say something, to tell him how this makes me feel, what he does to me, but I’m lost, words confounding me. Maybe it’s the niggle of betrayal that has my tongue. Una, Pierre, Ed. I’m betraying them all, sleeping with the enemy, so I keep my mouth closed.
“I’m on my knees for you, angel,” he says.
I hear the shift as Valdemar lowers himself behind me, the blade smoothing over my calf. The air leaves my lungs as he pullsmy cheeks apart, and then I’m gone as he flicks his tongue right up my centre.
I claw my nails over the grain of the wood, thankful the desk is holding me up. Valdemar licks me again, his tongue dipping as I shudder against his face.
Unable to keep my mouth closed any longer, words find me in a rush of pleasure. “Oh God.”
Holding my hips, the knife clasped in his hand now resting against my thigh, Valdemar fucks me with his tongue, then flicks lightly over my clit with the faintest of pressure, which only makes me want it more.
