“Fuck, Maks,” he spit out with disgust.
“D-Don’t fucking judge me like t-that.”
“I’ll judge the hell out of you when it comes to hurting a woman who has done nothing but help you.”
“D-Don’t you g-get it? I haven’t t-told her because I know she’ll leave. And I don’t know if I can b-bear losing her.”
With a ragged sigh, Dima replied, “Yeah, I know that.”
My brows popped in surprise. “You d-do?”
“That’s why I was just dancing with her even though my leg is screaming in agony.” He pinned me with a stare. “I was trying to somehow find a buffer for what was to come. To get her to remember who you really are and not the bastard who deceived her by playing two men.”
It was one thing to live it, and it was another to hear my sins from my brother’s lips. Nodding, I said, “I promise I’ll t-tell her.”
“Tonight?”
As tears pricked my eyes, I said, “Can’t I have one last p-perfect night with her?”
Dima’s furious expression became agonized. “You don’t know she’ll leave you.”
“You d-don’t know Sarah.”
“I do know she’s a very kind, compassionate woman. Maybe she will just need time.”
“I d-don’t t-think so,brat, I replied, my chest cracking in two. I knew if Sarah was here she would remark about my out-of-control speech by telling me to relax my jaw, ground myself, and try again. But I didn’t have the heart to do that.
Dima closed the distance between us. “Look at me. The doctors said I might not ever walk again.” When I didn’t respond, he said, “Fuck, look at me and Kavanaugh. I had the man tortured, and he’s forgiven me.”
“B-Because of Mila.”
“Yeah, because of her love. Just like I forgave Mila for alerting Kellan and me being shot.” He clapped his hand on my shoulder. “I know the same thing can happen with Sarah’s love.”
As I stared out at the water, my resolve grew. “Right. I’ll t-tell her. Not t-tonight but in the next few days.” At Dima’s disbelieving look, I held up my hands. “I swear.”
“If you let this go much longer, there really won’t be a chance of coming back from it.”
“I’m aware of t-that.”
Dima flicked his cigarette into the sea before starting back inside. When he was almost at the door, I called his name. Slowly, he turned back around. Calling on Sarah’s teachings, I said, “For what it’s worth, thank you for what you did with Sarah.”
“You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I do. And I appreciate it more than I can ever say.”
He nodded. “You’re welcome.”
And then he turned and slipped back inside, leaving me alone with my deception and heartache.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: SARAH
Istared at Maksim’s lone form through the floor to ceiling windows. He’d been standing on the terrace staring out at the water for the past ten minutes. Since it appeared he and Dima had exchanged words, I wanted to give him some time alone.
I’d also needed the time myself. I was still completely jangled inside after Dima’s talk with me on the dance floor. I didn’t like thinking Maksim was hiding something from me. He’d always been open with me even when he knew it would piss me off.\
I needed to talk to him about it. Each time I thought I had the courage to go out and confront him, I remained with my stilettos frozen to the floor. Part of me wanted to turn and run away. It would be so easy not to face things. Just hail a cab and go back to my apartment. Then collapse into the bed with Voxie’s comforting purrs surrounding me.
But I couldn’t do that. Inviting as it was, it wasn’t me.
