“If he’s not t-taking his medicine, he is.”
Tears pooled in Sarah’s eyes. “I was just thinking how selfish I am for being mad because I’d hoped to pass that china on to my daughter one day.”
I cockedmy brows at her in surprise in the reference to children. Considering her profession, I don’t know why I was surprised by her admission. Not to mention how good she was with Sammy and his friends.
“D-Do you want kids?”
“Absolutely.” With a somewhat panicked smile, she added, “Maybe.”
“Why the maybe?”
She swiped her cheeks of tears. “Because of genetics.”
“You’re afraid you might have a child with schizophrenia?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“You d-don’t have to be afraid, Sarah. You can have g-genetic testing, and if you’re a carrier, then you can just use an egg donor or adopt.”
Her brows rose in surprise. “How do you know all that?”
I tore my gaze from hers to stare down at the floor. With my breath coming harsher, I replied, “Because of my stuttering.”
Sarah gasped. “Oh Maksim.”
I continued staring at the shards of floral china on the floor. “Before my father d-denied me as heir, he’d told me I would need t-to use a sperm donor so I didn’t pass on my d-defect.”
Swallowing hard, I replied, “I t-told Dima it would b-be his son who would b-be the next heir. Even if I had one, I couldn’t g-guarantee he wouldn’t be d-defective.”
With my emotions swirling, there was no way I was keeping my stutter under control at that moment. The next thing I knew Sarah pressed herself against me. As she wrapped her arms around me, I clenched my eyes shut to keep from crying.
FUCK. That was the last thin I wanted to do in front of her. One more thing to make me feel emasculated.
“Look at me,” she demanded.
Shaking my head, I gritted out, “No.”
“Fine. But I’m still going to say what I planned.”
“Your stuttering is not a defect. You are not defective. You have everything a woman would want in the man to father her children.”
At her last declaration, my eyes snapped open to take in Sarah’s appreciative stare. “You really mean t-that?”
“Absolutely.”
Leaning over, I rested my forehead against hers. “Thank you,” I murmured.
“You’re welcome.”
When I stared into Sarah’s eyes, I saw what had to be reflected in my own.
Longing
Desire
With my heartbeat accelerating, I brought my hand to cup her jaw. When my thumb traced her lip, she closed her eyes.
Although I wanted to devour her lips and ravage her mouth, I tilted my head and prepared to brush my lips gently with my own.
