I stareat the picture in the magazine and try to ignore the way my cock twitches.I’m such a fucking moron.When I look down at the very hard to find issue of Motors and Mayhem in my hands, I wish it was possible to kick my own ass. The article and accompanying pictures of Beau Harper mock me. I fucked up huge. Beau Harper is gorgeous—of course I knew that the night I saw her at the party. It’s the reason I approached her to begin with. It’s more than that, though. From reading the articles, it’s clear why I had so much fun talking to her. The woman is smart as a tack. She’s funny and her humor shines through even in her interviews. Then there is her talent. Fuck me sideways, she’s amazing. Of course, I knew that from seeing some of our finished products. Before taking the VP role, I didn’t really have a position in the club that required me to do much more than just work in the garage. So, I just never worried about taking the product to Beau’s. That was usually left for a prospect, or something Skull or Dad liked to do.
I really should have made time to do it myself.
For three months Beau has refused to work with the club. Dad, Skull, and King are meeting with her today. I asked to go, but Dad wouldn’t allow it.
Wouldn’t allow me.
Jesus, it’s like I’m a ten-year-old, not the father of one. I realize I fucked up, but how can I make it right if they won’t even allow me to try. I should have told them to fuck off and gone anyway. One thing stopped me. I go to the garage quite often. Beau won’t even come out to see me. Hell, she won’t even acknowledge me. She has some guy named Callum standing guard.Fucking asshole.He acts as if Beau is his old lady, which just pisses me off. Obviously, she’s not his property. If she was, then she wouldn’t have been in my bed three months ago. Sure, maybe she got him after the fact, but I refuse to believe that’s a possibility. The thing is, I can’t get her out of my head. It has been three months and every fucking night I wake up in the dead of the night having dreamed of her being underneath me, my cock sinking into her, her ass thrusting against me.
Jesus, it’s ridiculous.I’ve jerked off to her memory almost every fucking night. It’s not natural. I don’t understand why she’s still in my head—why I still want her. I began thinking that maybe, if I could heal the rift between Beau and the club that would get her out of my head. The longer this is going on, I’m pretty sure that theory is complete shit. I’ve never—not ever—been unable to move on to another woman. Not since I got shed of Robin. I’ve refused to get caught up in another woman’s schemes ever since. I fuck who I want and when I want. That’s who I’ve been for the last nine years. It’s not what I envisioned for my life. I have always wanted what my parents had. Still, it’s who I became, and I was okay with it. I seriously was—unless you look at the last three months when I’m fucking tore up over a woman. I don’t understand why I haven’t walked away completely yet.
I don’t have a fucking clue.
My head jerks up when the door to my room slams against the wall and my father stalks forward, looking ready to kill. Idrop my magazine on the floor and get up from the oversized, seen-better-days, black armchair I’m in.
“What the hell, Dad?” I snap, facing him head-on.
Before he answers me, he turns, grabs the door and slams it shut. “Close your fucking mouth. I want to know what the hell you did to Beau, and I want to know now.”
“I told you it was just a misunderstanding,” I mutter, raking my hands through my hair. I’m not ready for this conversation. Hell, I may never be ready for it—at least not with my father. I know it’s something I need to talk to Beau about—if she ever lets me have the chance.
“Fuck that. I just left Beau and the grudge she’s got against you is massive. It’s not amisunderstanding.So, you are going to tell me what the hell you did and you’re going to tell me now.”
I’m getting ready to turn twenty-eight. That means I’ve seen my dad pissed a myriad of ways. None of them have been good. Dad likes to say that Mom has the temper of the family. Truth be told, Mom does have a horrible temper, but she can’t hold a candle to Dad’s. Still, I’m not a damn kid any longer and I don’t much appreciate him coming into my room at the compound, treating me like one.
“You must have missed it, old man, but I’ve passed the age where my father can get up in my shit. I’ll find a way to talk to Beau. We will work this out.”
“That’s where you’re fucking wrong. When you fuck up this massively to the point it affects a relationship that is vital to the club’s survival, you don’t get that luxury. Now, tell me how you hurt Beau.”
“Why is this girl so important to you and Skull? I don’t understand the dynamic. It’s not like you and Mom, or Skull and Aunt Beth invited Beau to family dinners or holidays. I don’t remember her ever being around. If she was so all-firedimportant, why the hell didn’t you try to bring her into the fold? How am I just now hearing about her?”
“She’s club. That’s all you need to know.”
“Bullshit! That tells me nothing.”
“It does, you just aren’t listening. You need to listen, BB. You also need to stay away from Beau. Don’t breathe her air. If you see her across a crowded room or across the fucking street, you turn around and don’t walk,” he growls, “you fuckingrunthe other direction.”
“Jesus,” I snap.
“Am I clear?”
“This is my life you’re fucking with here.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This has not one damn thing to do with you. This is Beau’s life. That woman deserves to have peace. She’s a good woman. She’s not one of your fuck-toys. So, you listen to me and confirm you get me, BB. You stay away from Beau.”
“And if I don’t?” I growl.
“Then you’ll force our hand. You’re one of the leaders of this club, son. You’re my flesh and blood. I love that you got to take over my role here. I’m coming after you on this for your own fucking good. If you fight this, you will lose the club. That’s how important this contract is to us right now, but it’s more than that. We took a blood oath, a pact formed with Beau’s father. Beau is protected by us—by the Devil’s Blaze.You can’t break that. You try and none of us will like how it turns out. Beau asked you to stay away from her and by God, BB, youneedto stay away.”
I pick up a damn book that I purchased last week. It was one I was going to give Beau as a peace offering. It was lame. It was a signed copy of something the clerk called a coffee table book, of photographs of the most famous cars in Hollywood history. It was lame, I knew it, but I also knew that Beau would like it—orat least I thought she would. Because of that, I picked it up on a whim. The problem is that I can never give it to her, because she won’t see me and made sure her men always blocked me from getting close to her.
Now, she has my own fucking club doing it.
I throw the book so hard it slams against the wall—screaming as I do it.“Motherfucker!”My father goes completely still. His sharp eyes never miss a damn thing—even if he is getting older. I just let him stare at me, the rage inside of me nowhere near subsiding.
Dad stares at me. It seems like his eyes are boring into me, revealing pieces of me that I’m not ready for the man to see. Shit. I don’t know if I ever want him to. “Beau means something to you,” he finally exhales. His words are spoken so quietly that I almost have to strain to hear him.
“We had sex. I thought it was one thing, I’m pretty sure she thought it was another. The longer I go without seeing her, the more I think she was right and the more I want it to be like that, too,” I halfway explain. It’s confusing to even hear, but I’m pretty sure he gets where I’m coming from.
