I turn toward her, abandoning all thoughts of my father. His world seems so far away now that I’m safely enveloped in Sofia’s apartment. With her blanket on my shoulders and her body in my arms, I’m transported to a place where my family can’t touch me.
I lean over to give her a kiss, and to my surprise, she gives me permission. After brushing her lips with mine, I discover that she’s open to more. Tightening my arm around her, I pull her close.
CHAPTER 14
SOFIA
When Frankie kisses me, my first reaction is one of pleasure. I love the way he smells, like expensive cologne and body wash. I love the way his body feels against me. He’s so unlike the rest of his family in a thousand different ways. I can’t imagine him hurting anyone, and the way he holds me is more protective than anything else.
I’m one hundred percent convinced he had nothing to do with Danny’s death. I don’t even think he knows about it. His panic attack was real; there’s no way you can fake something like that. And now his lips feel so gentle against mine, as if there is nothing but love between us.
I allow myself to give in. This isn’t what I planned, but it feels right. I move to sit up so that I can press my chest against his. I comb my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands slide like velvet against my palms. He’s so delicious, I can’t help myself.
I work my way into his lap. This is all moving so fast, but it feels good. I know that I’ll regret it if I let things go too far, but I can’tthink about that now. I just want to soothe all the anguish that’s been building in my heart since Danny died.
In a blinding flash, I realize that I haven’t been with anyone since that tragedy occurred. I haven’t once allowed myself to love or be loved. I haven’t been intimate in any way, and I haven’t missed it until now.
My body feels like it’s coming alive after a long dormant period. Blood rushes through my veins, spreading out to all my limbs like an accelerant. My nerves are on fire. Every touch is amplified a thousand times, and his kiss reminds me I’m alive.
I’m hungry for his touch. I no longer care about taking his father to court, or getting justice for my brother, or saving innocent lives. All that matters to me is this moment, this stroke of the hand, and the feel of Frankie beneath me.
He runs his hands up my sides, avoiding my breasts. I’m sure he wants to fondle me, but he’s taking things slow. He’s a gentleman to the very end, even when the goalposts are in sight, he cares about my feelings.
I want to prove to him that he can go all the way. I take my shirt off, tossing it towards the coffee table, not worried if it will hit the discarded water glass or not. Frankie’s eyes go wide. He shrugs off the weighted blanket and takes my chin in his hands.
We kiss again, repeatedly, until I hear angels singing. Frankie leans over me, forcing me down until I’m lying on the couch. He puts one hand on either side, not pressing his weight onto me yet. He continues to pace himself, giving me the option to hit pause whenever I feel uncomfortable.
His self-restraint turns me on. It gives me license to take the reins, to steer the ship, and do things my way. I’ve never beenwith a man like him before, and the thought of welcoming him into my body fills me with hope. I want to make love to him. If only for a moment, I’ll be able to forget all the heartache I’ve suffered.
I reach down to his waist, tugging his shirt up over his head. He shifts effortlessly to shed the fabric, gazing at me with wonder. I can almost see myself in his eyes. He’s imagining a woman who has no idea who his father is. He thinks I’m sweet and innocent, and he’s worried about taking advantage.
I know that if we go all the way, it will open doors for me in terms of information. Men are much more likely to spill their secrets if they think they’re in a committed relationship. If I follow through with what my body wants, I’ll be rewarded with “pillow talk.” Maybe I can gain some insights that will further my investigation.
I kiss Frankie once more, desperate to taste freedom again. But this time, all I can sense is disappointment in myself. I’m better than this. I can’t take advantage of him that way. And when my article comes out, I want to accept the Pulitzer without shame. Sleeping your way into actionable intel may be effective, but it’s not something I want to do.
I inhale sharply, placing both my hands on his chest. “Frankie,” I whisper.
“Sofia,” he murmurs, kissing my neck.
He thinks we’re still moving toward the bedroom, his touch tender and loving. I moan, allowing myself to be dragged under the current of our shared passion. It feels so good to touch another human being. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like.
I grasp him at the waist, the touch of his skin burning away all thoughts of restraint. Sliding my palms around to his spine, I marvel at the slope of his lower back. I even allow myself to dip a hand beneath his pants, not reaching his rear end but hovering inches away.
I pull him close, forcing him to abandon the inches of space he’s keeping between us. When his chest hits mine, I feel a rush of relief. I don’t care what the repercussions are. I want him badly.
He moves on from my neck, kissing my collarbone and nuzzling the curve of my throat. I twist my hips up into his, putting my whole body into motion. I wrap one leg around his, succumbing to raw, animalistic passion.
I feel his hand cup my breast. Above my bra, the heat is still present, driving me further from my rational state of mind. He nips at my chin, returning to my mouth to suck my lower lip deep into his mouth. It’s torture. I’m spinning out of control. Another minute longer and I’ll be hopelessly lost.
I get a flash of Danny’s body lying on his couch. It wasn’t the same couch, but if it were, I would be lying in the same position as I found my brother. That visual wakes me up. I raise my hands again, inching them between us. With more force this time, I push Frankie away.
He comes up, as if from a dream, shaking his head to clear it. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“No,” I reply on an exhale. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” he insists, sitting all the way back to allow me to ease away. “We’re going too fast. I lost control.”
“No, you’re fine,” I assure him. “I just…panicked for a moment.”
