Boo.
“You ruined your pants?”She asked, pulling me out of my dirty thoughts.
I glanced down, and sure enough, a dark wet spot had bloomed across the front of my jeans.My dick throbbed painfully against the damp fabric.I hadn’t come in my pants like that since I was a goddamn teenager.No.Since Katie hugged me at her birthday party years ago, I had to sneak into her bathroom to jerk off to the smell of her shampoo.
If I acted embarrassed, it would ruin my game.
I shrugged as if it was nothing and stood up.“You tasted so sweet I couldn’t help myself,” I said with a cocky smirk, my fingers unbuttoning my jeans.
She hummed, leaning over to get her purse from the coffee table.Only her balance made her body tremble just as she grabbed one handle and the next second she lost her hold on the purse.
Everything spilled.
Lip gloss, keys, a pen, a notebook, a protein bar.Normal stuff.
And then…not-so-normalstuff.
A folded piece of paper fluttered to the ground.My gaze snagged on the bold heading written in her bold, neat handwriting.The bullet points below had me choking back a laugh.
SEX PLAN
Make eye contact, but not creepy staring.
Touch hair.Flip them, if possible.
Say something sexy (find an example on Reddit later.* Example: “Your hands are hot enough to ride them.”)
Initiate kiss: tilt head right.Not left!!
Tease and FOREPLAY.Foreplay is a must.
Moan??(but not like a dying goat.)
Oh.My.Fucking.God.
I bent to grab it, but froze when two boxes of condoms clattered out next with different sizes.Because apparently she wasn’t leaving dick length to chance.And right after that, a small bottle rolled under the table.I picked it up.Chocolate-flavored lube.Behind it, un-flavored lube.
“Katie,” I said, horrified and trying not to laugh at the same time.“What the actual fuck?”
Her face went redder than a tomato.“That’s… that’s not mine?—”
“You made a checklist.”I waved the paper.“And two lubes?Who even brings a backup lube?”
“I didn’t know which one you’d prefer.”She stomped over, tried snatching the list but missed it when I pulled it out of reach.“Stop reading that!”
I grinned, trying hard not to lose it.“Moan.But not like a dying goat.”I kept the paper high in the air when she tried to grab it.“Katie.Please.Are you writing a research paper or trying to get laid?”
She buried her face in her hands.“I just wanted to be prepared.”
“You cameveryprepared,” I said, holding up the condoms and shaking my head.“Jesus Christ, you’ve got more supplies than a sex shop.”
But underneath the teasing, something twisted warm in my chest.She wanted it badly enough to…do all this.She was mortified, but fuck if it didn’t make me want her even more.
I licked my lips and kept the things on the table and said, “I don’t think these would fit me.”
She finally looked up.“What?”
“These would not fit,” I repeated, pointing at the two boxes of different sizes of condoms.
