“Maybe in the beginning.” Nathan’s face flashes behind my eyes. His intensity and cockiness. The primal heat on his face when he caresses me. “Not anymore. I’ve moved on from Aryan. I hardly even think about him.”
“That true?” She slides two full piping hot plates, along with two bottled waters and side salad. Rounding the island to sit beside me, she murmurs, “You were together for several years.”
I cut a piece of the pao and dip in the bhaji. “He wasn’t the one, Bee. After you left, I wasn’t in a good place. In those two years, I think our love fizzled out. I was too wrapped up in my grief to notice it. Or maybe I didn’t want to see what was right in front of me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I feel like it’s my fault.”
“No,” I firmly reply. “Everything that happened, though sad, turned out to be for the best. I would’ve ended up with the wrong man, which most likely would’ve led to a divorce or worse. Papa and Momma would’ve ended up mad.”
“They’re continuing the silent treatment?”
“Oh yeah, big time.”
“They’ll come around.” She nudges my shoulder with hers. “You have always been their favorite daughter.”
“Not anymore.”
She gives a consoling smile. “Eat. The food’s getting cold.”
“It’s delicious,” I compliment after the first bite and immediately go for a second. Pihu mewls, asking for a taste. “The paos are perfect. Crispy and buttery.”
“Really?” Her eyes light up like the Fourth of July. Reaching for her phone, she points the camera in my face. “Will you repeat that so I can record it? I’ll send it to Dash and Rosa.”
“Why?”
“Because they didn’t think I had it in me. They’re always teaming up and banning me from kitchens.”
I crack up, imagining a pissed-off Bianca. “Fine, I’ll say it again.”
As soon as I do with a lot more enthusiasm, she hits send and sits back in satisfaction. We eat in amicable silence. During which my mind travels to Nathan.
Every time after we’re intimate, he becomes closed off. I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it is, but I was only lying to myself.
There are brief moments where he’s evoked emotions of jealousy, possessiveness, and longing that caught me off guard.
Does this mean I have a crush on him? Is it more than mere attraction and lust I’m feeling toward him? A deep connection? Am I in denial about it all?
God! That would be catastrophic.
He warned me, didn’t he? And we’ve only been together once since our arrangement. Worse, it’s unrequited. Perhaps that’s why he puts up a wall.
Was I fooling myself thinking I’m capable of a casual relationship?
Panic spreads through my chest, tunneling my vision for a second.
A hand touches my arm, followed by Bianca's worried voice. “Arya, you all right?”
I jerk and clear my throat. “Yeah, sorry. I zoned out about work.”
“Nathan?”
I freeze, sputtering, “What about him?”
Does she know we’re hooking up?
Even Pihu sits up straight at hearing his name.
“His case is one of the complicated ones you must be handling,” she replies. “I assumed that's why work must be hectic for you.”
