“You’re a deviant.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.”
Taking my hand in his, he walks me to my car. As I unlock and open the door, he cages me against it before I can sit inside. A guarded expression tightens his jaw.
“Nathan?”
“I was serious earlier.” His tone is deadly and ominous. “You cannot fall for me, Arya. I’ll break your heart worse than your ex ever did. Do you understand?”
My pulse hammers in my throat. Shakily, I whisper, “I do.”
It’s the truth.
And an even bigger truth is… no one has control over their heart. It follows its own rules. Every warning fails against it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nathan
After the taillights of Arya’s car disappear, I walk back inside my house.
The soullessness clinging to the walls and the pin-drop silence instantly wears off the high of the orgasm.
As much as I wanted to bring Arya inside and lose myself in her willing body, I couldn’t let her see the pathetic mess that is my life behind closed doors.
The empty liquor bottles littering the living room and overflowing ashtrays. The entire space reeks of both. Like a dead person resides here.
She wouldn’t have seen the cocky man hell-bent on driving her crazy. She would’ve seen a drowning man, using alcohol like a lifeline. It’s the only vice that shuts off my overthinking brain.
Until I’m too weak to stand on my two legs, making darkness my friend.
Had she shown up any later, I probably wouldn’t have heard the doorbell. I surely would’ve been promoted to an evenbigger asshole in her eyes. Losing the chance to ever be with her. Because my gut says if we hadn’t seen each other tonight, she would’ve made her body off-limits and built her walls high.
The determination was in her brown eyes when she gave the ultimatum of walking out on me if I didn’t say yes to her dangerous proposal.
Till the very last second that she took off her coat, I was resolute on resisting and sending her away. But then she looked at me with those hypnotic eyes and uttered ‘Please’.
I was a goner.
Do I regret giving in to her lure? No.
Am I second-guessing my decision? Abso-fucking-lutely.
We’re heading toward a disaster of epic proportions. I should pick up my phone and send her a text that I’ve changed my mind. But I can’t summon the strength. Because I’m selfish for the refuge I find when I’m with her, around her, and inside her.
Not even Iris’s presence achieved that.
And she was the woman I loved.
The only solace in Arya and my coworkers-with-benefits relationship is that it has an end date. And if I can make her get me out of her system sooner by bringing her insurmountable pleasure, even better.
She won’t be another person whose life I ruin.
Grabbing the half-empty bottle of whiskey, I drag myself upstairs. The silence in the hallways is deafening, the walls threatening to close in on me as I reach the master bedroom.
Like every night, I place the liquor bottle on the side table and lie down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling for a beat, I close my eyes, thinking… hoping that maybe tonight I’ll find a reprieve from the demented voices.
My mind is quiet at first.
