“Just fine!” Did I sound nervous? I wasn’t nervous.
“You sure?”
I marched to the door and spoke very clearly to whoever it was. “Listen, we’re just putting on some finishing touches. We’ll start in four minutes.” Then I slumped against the door. “Kill me now.”
Four minutes to get into that monstrosity and convince this stranger to play along. At least he was halfway there already. I turned and girded my argument with cold facts. “Okay. Bend the rules here a little, Allie.” I stared him in the eyes. “We don’t know each other, but here’s how it’s going to go. We walk down that aisle. Pretend we’re super happy and everything is just fucking ducky. Kiss…once, and skedaddle right out of that back door we were promised. I’ll tell the limo driver to drop you off anywhere you want. All you need to do is play along. Got it?”
“Excuse me?”
I narrowed my gaze on him. He was going to run. Then I’d have to face down Mom, Dad, Aunt Susan, the alpacas, and Vegas’s answer to the Housewives of New Jersey, the film crew, and all those male strippers. “Consider your involvement an apology for stealing my ride earlier.”
“I need to be at the airport.”
“Great. That’s where I’m going next. Is this a go?” Hopefully, I could straighten out the mess of my ticket being under Johnny’s name. And, crossed fingers, I’d find someone there tonight rather than have to leave extra early in the morning to get things switched over. Because there was no way I was going to be able to convince Ellie to leave the hotel at oh-dark-thirty.
I searched his eyes.
He glanced to the main door, then the chapel entry. “Yes.”
Hot dawg! I scrambled to unzip the bag and tug out the layers of tulle and ruffles. “I have to change. Turn around.”
A softer knock on the door interrupted me, and the wedding planner slipped in. “We’re ready?” She nodded hopefully.
“Except for the dress, can you help?” I asked.
She looked at the Phantom.
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just watch the wall for a few minutes.”
“Cool. Ellie, are you okay with the groom being in here?”
“Absolutely. Let’s do this thing.” He'd turned his back like a gentleman, and the dress I currently wore was almost see-through, so I wasn't feeling any more embarrassed than if he'd seen me naked anyway.
The planner gushed as she prepped the gown. “Oh, thank you so much! It isn’t every day we get a court officiator here, and I’d like to keep our business license, if you know what I mean?”
“You have nothing to worry about,” The Phantom told the wall.
“Is Johnny going to be okay?” I asked as she fluffed the dress.
“I’m really sorry about letting him in. I didn’t know he was your ex. They took him to Valley Hospital. I think he has a concussion. How hard did you hit him?” She gathered the dress into a bundled circlet of lace and tulle to drop over my head as she multi-tasked with her question.
The pause went a little too long.
Whoops, she was asking me. “Not nearly hard enough.” My voice was muffled under the layers.
The Phantom snickered. Bloodthirsty bastard.
“Turn.” I did as ordered, and the planner expertly zipped and tucked me into the gown.
Funny, I always thought I was thinner than Ellie. But dear Lord this dress was tight. My boobs were squished upward, and the large gap I’d thought was just a slit to flash skin actually had a fine flesh-toned mesh that held everything together and still managed to show off some impressive cleavage. I had cleavage!
With a quick twist and some clever bobby pin use, the planner had my hair knotted into an incredible waterfall of a messy updo that complemented the gown. “We don’t have time for makeup, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I don’t like a lot of makeup.” I ran a hand down the bodice. The delicate lace of the dropped shoulder draped loosely over my upper arms, and I looked like I’d stepped out of a fairy tale, or in this case, a Phantom’s lair.
“Hey, Phantom, turn around.”
My strange bridegroom turned to face me, and his jaw dropped a little. “Molta Bella,” he whispered. His eyes dipped down the flesh-toned slash between my boobs and back up again to linger on my face. A series of words I didn’t catch spilled from his lips like a benediction.
