I turn away from Ryder so I don’t have to look at him, stepping over to my kitchen table and taking a seat there. My heart is pounding harder and harder. This isso unfair. But saying that out loud makes me sound like a petulant teenager. I might still be a teenager, but I’m not going to give Adam that impression.
Think, Lily, think.If I go along with this and let them think I’m agreeing to this plan, maybe they’ll leave Ryder alone. I’ll tell Ryder about my plan after the phone call so he knows what’s happening. We can give it some time to simmer, andthen we’ll find our way back to each other. Just a quick, predetermined separation.
If I don’t agree, and Mr. Calhoun ruins Ryder’s career, and I put up a fight, then it’s setting us up for misery, both for him and my brothers. I love my brothers, even if they’re way too overprotective. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them, not when they’ve sacrificed so much for my happiness and well-being. Fighting with them will only make them think I’m more immature.
If I pretend to agree and just stay with them while proving how mature I am now, maybe there will be a chance for me and Ryder in the future.
“Okay,” I finally say. “I’ll do it.”
Another sigh from Mr. Calhoun, but this one sounds relieved. “You’re making the right choice, Lily. Adam? Can you get Lily this evening?”
“Yes. I’ll be there after work.”
“Great. And Lily?”
“Yes?” I manage to squeak out.
“Don’t do anything stupid, like running away again.” Mr. Calhoun’s words are sharp and pointed.
The wordstupidphysically stings. Doing somethingstupidagain, the reminder that Ihavedone something stupid once and am likely to do it again, at least in their eyes. The reminder that my brothers have needed to protect me and keep me safe ever since our mother died, and that the one time they let me make my own decision, I caused pain and suffering.
“And,” Mr. Calhoun pauses for dramatic effect. “Don’t you dare tell Ryder.”
I suck in a breath. “What…why…why would you say that?”
“Call it a hunch. But if you tell him, you won’t like the consequences.”
Tears prick my eyes. My whole plan is shattered. Now I’mgoing to disappear and leave Ryder, and he’ll never know what happened to me.
Will he care?
Will he even want to find me?
Or will he move on, maybe back to Peter and all the girls he was dating before?
I’m going to be sick.
My eyes land on the shattered picture of our family, still sitting on my kitchen table. I wish I could go back to that little girl, wrapped in her mother’s arms. I wish she could tell me what to do. I wish I didn’t dostupidthings and hurt my family. Instead, I’m here, suffering the consequences of my dumb decisions and making my brothers pick up the pieces.
“I’ll be there around ten,” Adam says, startling me from my thoughts. “Be smart, Lily.” He hangs up before I can respond.
My hands shake as I lower the phone from my ear.
What now?
I’ve been placed in an impossible situation.
If I tell Ryder, I’ll sever my relationship with my brothers.
But I’ve only been in a relationship with Ryder for less than twenty-four hours. Can I even call it a relationship? We’ve kissed a couple of times. I admit he’s been my best friend through this all, but do I know that what I’ve got with Ryder is worth severing my ties with my family?
I can’t say that with complete confidence.
So I’ll go along with their plan. Pretend nothing is wrong. Tell Ryder nothing.
And then disappear tonight.
CHAPTER 36
