“YOU’REMOVING?!” she cries.
I sigh. “No,” I say loudly and clearly. “I liked the end of the book.”
“AH.” She sits back in her seat. “YES, THAT WAS A VERY EXCELLENT KISS.”
“No, I?—”
Her eyes turn dreamy. “THE WAY THE AUTHOR DESCRIBED HIS LIPS AND?—”
“Okay, I think that’s all for today!” Gwen cries, standing and clapping a few times. “Let’s have some treats, shall we?”
The women stand and head over to the table where a few cookies and brownies sit. I look over at Lily, who’s still seated in her chair.
“You okay?” I ask her. “Do you want to leave?”
Her hand tightens around Galileo. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight.”
“It’s a few more people than usual. And don’t knock yourself down. It’s not going to be a linear process.”
She nods, opening her hand and looking down at the green sparkling gems in her palm. “I guess.”
I look at the group of ladies. All of them seem immersed in their own conversations, but I catch Lucy looking over at us. Maybe Lily needs to escape from all the prying eyes. “We can go outside and take a breather if you want. Then come back in when you’re ready.”
She eyes me carefully, as if weighing whether she can trust me again. I see the moment she decides, and her eyes soften. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
I hold my hand out to her, and she places her hand in mine. It’s at this moment that I realize I haven’t held her hand or touched her like this in at least a week. Just like before, the electricity buzzes through my veins, but I do my best to hide it. Apparently I don’t do a good job, though. I pull her to standing, but I pull a little too hard and she comes flush against my chest.
I should back away. I know it. But I stand there, looking down at Lily, holding her close to me and savoring the moment. Her pink lips are parted in surprise, and her eyes are wide but inviting. I can just imagine leaning down and?—
“OH, MY!” Rosalie yells from across the room. “LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING TO DISCUSS A KISS AFTER ALL!”
That’s all I need to back off. I release Lily’s hand and take three steps back, leaving plenty of room between us, and Lily’s expression shutters.
“No kissing,” I call out. “Sorry to disappoint you, Rosalie. But we’re going outside. Lily needs some air.”
Agatha looks concerned, but I give her an “everything’s fine” wave, and she nods in understanding. Lily heads to the door and I follow behind, ever her shadow.
CHAPTER 32
Lily
SERGEI RACHMANINOFF — LILACS, OP. 21 NO. 5 (ARR. FOR PIANO)
Idon’t know what’s wrong with me tonight.
Ever since Ryder and I got into that argument—if you could even call it that—at Aram’s restaurant, I’ve been off-balance. But tonight, I feel all the signs of another panic attack. I’m successfully keeping it at bay, but I feel like I’m on a seesaw and can’t find that middle point where I can stay still.
The cold air outside helps a bit, bringing me back to my senses and what’s happening right here, right now.
Until I turn and see Ryder again.
I wish I could stop thinking about him that way. The way that makes me wish wedidgive Rosalie a kiss to talk about. The way that I can’t stop wearing his jacket and inhaling his scent. The way I curl up in bed, imagining what it would feel like to have him lying next to me.
Ryder is here for me, in every way. He got me into the theater when no one else gave me a chance, giving me the greatest gift he possibly could have. Every day, he’s here to steady me, keep me grounded in reality, and help me heal.
He’s been my friend, the only one who’s given me the confidence I need to move on.
But is that all it is? Friendship? Or is it…pity? Or is it because he wants to do something nice for Peter by befriending his little sister?
