I breathe in and try it, and suddenly his hand is gone.
Ryder smiles. “That was you.”
“Yeah, right,” I say, exhaling and laughing.
“No, really. You used your body to give the force needed to escape. That’s all.”
“Really?”
He nods. “Really.”
Pride swells in my chest. I can do this. I can escape from someone who grabs my wrist. Maybe it’s small, and maybe it won’t even happen, but I feel a surge of…empowerment? Confidence? Whatever it is, it’s blooming inside of me.
“Why didn’t my brothers teach me this?” I ask.
Ryder’s expression drops. “I don’t know.”
A small fire ignites in my chest. “All they’ve done is teach me to be afraid and hide, not stand my ground. If they’re so afraid of something happening to me, why didn’t they teach me to defend myself?”
He shakes his head slowly, his expression full of sympathy. “I honestly don’t know, Lily. But I’m glad I’m teaching you.”
I take in a deep breath, smothering the flames, and grin at him. “Yeah, me too.”
For the next hour, Ryder and I practice a few more times. Then he teaches me about targeting vulnerable points “in case escape isn’t immediately possible.” Again, it makes me nervous to think about the possibility, but at the same time, he’s finally giving me actionable tools I can use.
“Eyes. Throat. Groin. Instep,” I repeat back to him, over and over.
“Look for openings. You can use everyday objects, like keys. Or you can use a barrier, like your purse or jacket orsomething.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. “You can do it. And then, when they’re disabled, you run.”
I nod.
“Actually,” he says, looking down between us, “this is exactly how someone might try to entrap you. If they did, you could bring your knee up to their groin and run.”
“Like this?” I ask, lifting my knee. But apparently I’m a little too eager to practice, because Ryder collapses in on himself, releasing my shoulders and doubling over.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” I squeal, bending down and putting a hand on his back. “Are you okay?”
“Just…like…that,” Ryder wheezes out.
“Do you need something? Ice?”
“Give me a minute,” he pants. “I’ve been through worse.”
I stand there, rubbing his back for a couple of minutes until his breathing evens out. I feel awful for hurting him, but I also feel even more powerful and strong.
I can do this.
A few minutes later, Ryder seems back to normal, but he isn’t moving from his position, still doubled over. “Are you okay now?” I ask.
He turns his head to look up at me. “I’m fine. I’m enjoying the back rub.”
I swat him on the shoulder, then feel a pang of remorse. “Well, I guess you deserve it after teaching me to protect myself.” I grimace. “But I’m sorry for hurting you.”
He straightens and winces. “It’ll be a little sore for a while, but I’ll be okay.” He tips his head toward the kitchen. “Nothing a cupcake can’t fix,” he says with a grin.
“That I can do!” I skip to the kitchen and pick up the piping bag, my heart lighter than it’s been all day today. While I’m still apprehensive about going outside, Ryder has given me something more than just physical techniques to protect myself. He’sgiven me courage and confidence in myself and my abilities. No one has given me that.
I know my family loves me, and that’s why they’re trying to keep me hidden and safe. But I’m just shrinking in fear, letting them call the shots instead of controlling the narrative.
