So I get dressed in a cute purple dress, then spend the last few minutes before his arrival baking. I hum to myself as I mix the cookie dough and add in M&M’s just for Ryder (he said they’re his favorite), and while the cookies are in the oven, I sit at the kitchen table and work on my English midterm. I still haven’t gotten very far when the timer dings, so I grab an ovenmitt, take out the cookies, and scoop them over to the wire rack to cool.
As I’m scooping the last few cookies, I hear the telltale scrapes and knocks of Ryder climbing over the balcony. The door is already unlocked, and it squeaks as he opens it.
“You shouldn’t leave this unlocked,” he says in greeting.
“Who else knows how to climb up here?” I say jokingly, my eyes still on the cookies.
“After tonight, you.”
I look up at him, confused by the sight of him holding an armful of rope. “What do you mean?”
He grins and drops the rope. “We’re busting you out of here.”
“Oh, no,” I say with a laugh, stepping around the counter and getting closer to him. “No, no, no. That’s funny and all, but I’m not leaving.”
He furrows his brow at me. “You said you’d leave if you could.”
“Yeah, like, if I wasallowed.”
“I’m allowing it.”
I give him a mix between a scoff and a laugh. “Oh, okay. Since you have the right to make that decision.”
“No. Butyoudo.” His gaze is pointed.
I sigh. “We’ve been over this.”
“You’ve explained to me how you feel. And I understand—to an extent. But you’re relinquishing all control of your life.” He closes the gap between us and puts his hands on my shoulders, then bends his head to meet my eyes. “You’re not a little girl anymore. And if you want to get out of this tower, you should.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I fight the urge to cry. Despite all my attempts to convince myself that Ryder only sees me as Peter’s little sister, he’s the ONLY one who has made me feel like a grown-up who can make her own decisions.
Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “grown-up” if I want to sound mature.
I bite my lip, swallowing the emotion that rises to the surface at his words. He keeps his eyes locked on mine, studying me and reading everything I try to keep hidden. His expression morphs from focus to compassion, then he wraps me up in a big hug. “Are you afraid?”
Right now, I’m tingling from head to toe.I’ve got the full effect of Ryder wrapped around me, and I can do pretty much anything. But then he pulls away and holds me by the shoulders, looking in my eyes.
Am I afraid? The feelings are so complicated. I know I can’t live the rest of my life in here. I don’twantto live my life in isolation. I want to leave and be free. But taking this first step, leaving the tower and entering the real world, fills me with dread.
With the full weight of his gaze on me, I let out a shuddering sigh and answer his question. “Yes?” I say, my voice coming out in a whisper.
His lips set in a firm line. “You’re an adult, Lily. You can make your own decisions. You’re not naive, you’re not stupid, you’re not any of the names you call yourself. You’re smart and strong and brave. And if you want to leave this tower, you can leave. Got it?”
Confidence blooms in my chest. When he says those things about me, I can almost believe them. Almost.
Regardless, his impassioned words make my eyes well up with tears. I sniff them away with a smile. “Okay, so let’s say I climb down this tower. Then what?”
A slow grin forms on Ryder’s perfect lips, creating fireworks in my heart. “Do you trust me?”
I chuckle. “No.”
He tilts his head and glares at me playfully.
“Yes,” Iquickly amend. And I do. I really, truly trust Ryder. Not only do I trust him to protect me from any real danger, but I trust that he’s already figured me out and knows what would make me happy.
“All right then. You’ll have to come down and find out.” He runs his hands down the length of my arms, stopping just below my elbows, and turns back to his rope.
I shiver at the loss of his touch, then regain my senses and step over to him, where he’s standing and staring up at the ceiling. He points up at one of the exposed beams. “I’m going to wrap the rope around that beam, then attach it to this ladder. And then we can climb up and down.”
