This isn’t the quick hug of a family member saying hello or goodbye. This iscomfort. This issafety.This iscompassion, and I didn’t realize how much I craved all those things until I had it wrapped around my shoulders and waist. I exhale, letting out all the weight from the last few months, and wrap my arms around his waist. A few tears slip out, too. Not a lot, I’m not sobbing or anything, just those silent tears of emotional release.
We stay like that for a minute until he slowly pulls away from me. I step back and wipe my eyes, slightly embarrassed that I’ve left water spots on his black shirt, but grateful he gave me that space.
Ryder clears his throat. “I guess it was a little impulsive to rush over here after seeing the video. But I felt like I had to…you know, fill in for Peter.”
Ugh.
Hopefully the darkness of the night hides the flush of my cheeks, because that quick phrase left me utterly humiliated. To think that Ryder would have any notion of me beyond his best friend’s little sister, the girl in pajamas and bunny slippers who practices cartwheels and cries from a simple hug… I’m so stupid.
I bethedoesn’t have an overactive imagination.
Especially not about me.
“But I also wanted to come see you because…well, I want you to know that I believe you.”
The words settle in my chest.I believe you.
He laughs at himself. “That’s probably dumb to say, but?—”
“No,” I say quickly. “It isn’t.”
He nods. “Well, especially considering who it is.”
I raise a brow at that.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I have my own personalhistory with Tristan Jackson. Let’s just say, I’ve seen past the facade of the golden boy for a while now. And I wish your story didn’t ring true, but it does.”
I wait for him to explain more, but he doesn’t. And now I feel another layer of separation between us, some secret he doesn’t want to share about his history with Tristan.
“Anyway,” he finally says. “I’ll come back to visit again.”
“When?” I ask, then want to kick myself for sounding so desperate. But I’ve never been one to hide my emotions well.
I think I’ll need to work on that.
He chuckles. “Give me a couple days. I told Gwen I was coming here, and I don’t want her to think there’s anything…you know, between us.”
“You told Gwen?! I told you not to tell anyone!”
His eyes dart away, and he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. I’m sorry. But you have to know it’s safe with her.” He pauses. “Trust me. She’s great at keeping secrets.”
I don’t know that, but I don’t really have a choice right now.
“Maybe Friday night?” Ryder offers.
Two nights from now. That’s not very long. I nod, and he holds up an awkward hand in a farewell gesture, then opens the doors to the balcony. I wrap my arms around my middle at the rush of cold air, watching him slide a hand into his pocket briefly, then swing a leg over the balcony and start climbing down.
I step out onto the balcony, wanting to watch him leave. I haven’t stepped out here once, afraid people will see me. But if Ryder’s climbing down and knows no one is watching, the coast must be clear. It’s a small act of defiance, standing here in the open and knowing I could be seen.
And I feel a little bit like Juliet watching Romeo from the balcony.Ryder, Ryder, wherefore art thou Ryder?
I’m pathetic.
He climbs down the tower, making it look like a piece of cake. Could I do that? Could I scale down the wall? A shudder runs through me at the thought of it. No way. I’m safe here. There’s no reason for me to risk my life that way.
Besides, I wouldn’t want to risk the wrath of my father and brothers.
Ryder hops down onto solid ground and waves up at me. I wave back, watching him leave, and find myself wishing so many things were different.
