She speaks so matter-of-factly it’s as if she’s always known my fate. “And what about his mother? This is the Harper you’ve been talking about forever? The one who loves romcoms? I remember you telling us about her.”
I huff a short laugh but I don’t smile. “Yeah. She used to drive me crazy with her love of romcoms.”
“So, there are still feelings there?”
“I don’t see how there could be now,” I tell her. “Not after what she’s done.”
“What she’s done?” Ella tips her head. “You mean raise your son—on her own, I might add—to be a perfectly respectable, well-balanced kid with a love of hockey and an obvious talent on the ice unlike any of the other kids in the youth league?”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “I see what you’re doing, Ella but that doesn’t negate the fact that she kept him from me all this time.”
“Let me ask you something,” she says as the guys listen in. “Take your son out of the equation for just a moment. Pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“But he?—”
“Ah-ah-ah.” She waves her finger in front of me. “For just a second, he doesn’t. Pretend for a moment that the woman you were head over heels in love with years ago, the woman you have talked about over and over again for the last ten years, the woman you once saw a future with, is now living in the same town you live in…and she’s single. I mean…I assume she’s single?”
“Honestly?” I shrug. “I don’t even know. We didn’t talk about it.”
Fuck me.
What if she’s with somebody else now?
It wouldn’t surprise me.
She’s still as beautiful as ever.
“Okay so let’s just say for shits and giggles that she’s single. And still super-hot…obviously. Would you want to see her?”
Yes.
Unequivocally yes.
I sigh again. “Yeah. I suppose I would.”
“Because…?” she goads.
“Because she was everything to me then. I loved her. I wanted a life with her.”
“Then don’t you think it’s okay to be curious even after all this time?”
“But how could I ever trust her again? After all she’s done?”
Ella’s eyes soften as she meets mine, her voice dropping to that gentle tone she reserves for moments that matter. “You won’t trust her again,” she says with a confident shake of her head, her blonde ponytail swishing against her shoulders. “Not until you can forgive her. And maybe not until you can forgive yourself…” Her fingers squeeze mine, warm and steady. “Though between you and me, you’ve done nothing wrong and have nothing to forgive. Those feelings churning inside you? They’re valid. And I get why you feel the way you do. I imagine anyone in your skates would feel the same.”
She tilts her head, a strand of hair falling across her cheek. “But eventually, if you give yourself the space to feel and a little grace for what you’re working through, who knows…” The corner of her mouth lifts in that knowing half-smile. “Maybe the two of you will find your way back to each other and you’ll all get one big happily ever after.”
“Babe,” August tips his head, his wedding band catching the fluorescent light as he gestures toward his wife. “When did you earn your degree in psychology and become a world-renowned therapist?”
The guys erupt in laughter that echoes off the walls, and I find myself joining in, the tightness in my chest loosening for the first time today.
“I’m just offering a more…positive perspective.” Ella hops down from the table, her sneakers squeaking against the floor. She plants her hands on her hips, scanning our faces with mock disapproval. “Because from the looks of things when I walked into this room, you sorry assholes weren’t doing shit for our beloved Meers.”
She leans down, the faint scent of sweet cinnamon rolls enveloping me as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. Her embrace is firm and grounding, the kind that reminds you that you’re not alone in whatever storm you’re weathering.
“You deserve to be happy, Harrison,” she whispers. “We all want that for you. And maybe…just maybe…this is the universe’s way of giving you everything you’ve always wanted.” She pulls back, her eyes searching mine. “Either way, we’re here for you and with you, okay?”
My throat tightens. “Thanks, Ella.”
