The moment Connor’s out of earshot Antoni dives right in.
“Okay, so spill,” he presses, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leans against the kitchen counter, arms crossed. The way he watches me, like he’s waiting for a juicy secret to be revealed, makes my heart race.
“It was…unexpected,” I say, trying to keep it vague, but he’s already seen through my half-hearted attempts.
“Unexpected how? Did he turn out to be a total jerk? Did he profess his undying love for you? Did he have a wife with him? Give me details, honey, because I mean, if I were him and I just saw you after ten years, I’d be sweating bullets. If not outright crying.”
He smirks and I laugh lightly, though the sound feels hollow. “He was everything I remembered and so much more. He had that same goofy smile.” I shrug and shake my head befuddled. “The way his eyes lit up when he talked to Connor was a bit of a surprise. I don’t remember him being so great with kids, you know? But then I guess we were basically kids back then, right? I just…I couldn’t help but think how much he’s grown. How different yet familiar he felt.”
Antoni raises an eyebrow. “Familiar? Orfamiliar-familiar?”
I bite my lip, the heat of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks. “You know what I mean. Seeing him again was like being thrown back into a memory I buried a long time ago. A memory I thought didn’t hurt anymore.”
Antoni nods, his expression shifting to one of understanding. “Of course it hurts, babe. You literally gave birth and have been raising a memory for the last ten years. That’s got to hurt at least a tiny bit. I’d call you crazy if it didn’t.”
I rub the back of my neck, feeling the weight of everything press down on me. “Yeah. It hurts because it’s still there. The love, the regret…and I swear there was still that electric connection, you know? That familiar sizzle?”
“Mhmm.”
“But now there’s Connor,” I continue, gesturing toward the living room couch. “He’s not our past. He’s my present and my future too.”
“Did he figure it out?” he asks, his voice dropping.
“I don’t know. I mean, he was definitely putting things together. When Connor mentioned being ten, it was like I saw the gears turning in his head. He’s not an idiot. I’m sure if he didn’t figure it out at that moment, he will have by now.”
We sit together at the kitchen table, Antoni grabbing two Cokes from the fridge and handing one to me, an expression of deep concern etched on his face. “You know he had to have seen something in Connor, right? You can’t hide that kind of resemblance. The kid looks just like him, Harp. The blue eyes are a dead giveaway.”
I frown, feeling that familiar anxiety bloom in my chest. “Yeah, I know. I was watching the realization hit him in real time but there was nothing I could do about it, you know? It felt like the air got sucked out of the room.” I let out a shaky breath, rubbing my temples. “I mean, what do I even say to him? ‘Surprise! You have a ten-year-old son, and I didn’t tell you for a decade.’”
Antoni leans in closer, brows furrowing. “Did he say anything? Do you think he…?”
I shake my head. “No, not a word. Especially not in front of…” I tilt my head toward the living room. “I mean, he could’ve just been shocked to see me after all this time, but at this point there’s no way he doesn’t know.”
Toni takes my hand and squeezes it gently, wearing that thoughtful expression he gets when he knows he has to say something wise. “Honey, you can’t hide from this forever. If he’s already got a glimpse of the truth, it’s only a matter of time before he figures it all out. And let’s be honest, this is why you came here. You knew this was bound to happen at some point once you moved to Anaheim.”
My mind is swirling as I slowly take a sip of my drink. He’s right. I can’t keep running from this. I can’t pretend that my past with Harrison didn’t just crash back into my life like a rogue puck slamming against the boards.
And I can’t pretend that I didn’t see it coming because I did.
I did this.
Everything that’s happened over the last ten years is because I made a choice.
For better or worse.
So, from here on out, once Harrison knows the whole truth, things are either going to get a hell of a lot better for all of us…or a whole lot worse.
I really don’t see a middle ground here.
“Did he look happy?” Tony asks.
I cock my head. “What?”
I’m not sure why he’s searching for this particular answer when it feels like my world is splitting apart.
“When he saw Connor? Was there any…anger?”
I lean back in my chair recalling the moment Harrison locked eyes with Connor and shake my head. “He was genuinely happy to see him. Connor’s talked so much about the tips Harrison gives him at practice that I think they have a little bond of sorts, so yeah. He looked…happy.”
