I pad down the hallway, quietly toward the guest room, every step careful, like I’m afraid of startling him. The bathroom door is half open, steam curling out into the dim light of the condo.
I push it open and find him standing fully clothed in the shower.
Jeans darkened with water. T-shirt plastered to his chest. Head tipped forward, forehead braced against the tile like that’s the only thing keeping him upright. The water runs over him, relentlessly soaking him through, and he doesn’t move to stop it.
Oh shit.
My heart breaks in half.
“Harrison,” I say again, stepping inside and pushing the door closed behind me.
He flinches, just barely, like he didn’t expect to be found.
“I—” My voice wobbles, so I steady it. “Connor fell asleep.”
That gets his attention.
He turns his head a fraction, eyes red-rimmed, lashes clumped with water that might not all be from the shower. He looks wrecked. Like the weight of ten years finally found somewhere to land.
“He cried himself out,” I continue softly. “I sat with him until his breathing softened and he fell asleep.”
Harrison swallows but still doesn’t speak.
“I turned off the oven,” I add, because somehow it feels important that he knows. “And then I…I couldn’t find you.”
I step closer, my socks instantly soaking through as I cross the tile. The air is warm and heavy with steam and something raw I don’t have a name for.
“You can turn it off,” I say gently. “You don’t have to punish yourself.”
His shoulders hitch.
“I don’t know what else to do,” he admits, his voice rough. “I broke him.”
“No,” I choke out, reaching for him. “God no, H. You did no such thing.”
My fingers clutch at his soaked arms sliding up through wet fabric and over taut muscle until my palms rest against his chest. His heart races under my hands, wild and frantic.
“He’s hurting,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “Because he loves you so much it scares him. And because even if he doesn’t want to admit it, even if he can’t admit it, this matters to him. You matter to him. That’s not broken, H. That’s love. You didn’t break him, I promise. If anyone broke him, it was me.”
His eyes squeeze shut, tears mingling with the shower water.
“I missed everything,” he whispers with grief. “Ten years. First wobbly skates. First goals. First heartbreak. I didn’t even know his voice or…or…or the sound of his laugh.”
I press my forehead to his sternum, my own tears flowing freely now. “I know,” I sob against him. “And that’s all on me. Hate me, H. I deserve it. Take your rage out on me. Yell until your throat bleeds. Scream until the walls shake. Hit me if you want to. Whatever you need.”
He jerks back, cradling my face in his hands. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” His voice breaks completely. “ Harper, I would never—” He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, his eyes burning with hurt. “I would die before I hurt you. I could never—” He shakes his head, fingers trembling against my skin. “I love you, Harp. So goddamn much it’s killing me. Don’t you see? I’ve been waiting for you since the moment you walked away.”
My breath catches in my throat. The raw honesty in his voice makes my chest ache. I want to believe him—God, I want to—but ten years of guilt have built walls I don’t know how to tear down. His eyes search mine, red-rimmed but so earnest it hurts to look at them.
“I didn’t mean to break you,” I whisper, my voice cracking as I swipe at my eyes, the warm shower water streaming down my face. “I didn’t mean to do any of this.” I gesture between us, his soaked T-shirt clinging to every contour of his chest as it rises and falls with ragged breaths.
“You didn’t break anything, Harp,” he tells me, wrapping his strong arms around me.
“But you’re not the one who kept all this from him. From you.”
“I should’ve fought harder for you. I shouldn’t have let you leave. I should’ve known there was a bigger reason you were leaving. I was just too young and too stupid to see it.”
“You’re here now,” I say. “And you didn’t run. You didn’t get defensive. You didn’t make it about you. You stayed. You listened. You let Connor be angry. You did all the right things, H.”
