“He said what?” Victoria set her tea down so abruptly that half of it sloshed out, overflowing the saucer.
Alexandra paced toward the fireplace again. “He said we should marry, because it would be convenient for him.”
“Did he actually use the word ‘convenient’?”
“Well, suffice it to say that he implied it very,verystrongly.”
“Lex, this is tremendous news! I wish you would sit down, you’re making me dizzy.”
With an annoyed look at her friend, Alexandra continued pacing. “I don’t want to sit. Besides, your parents could return at any moment. I won’t put them through the embarrassment of asking me to leave.”
Vixen sat back amid a pile of pillows. “Fine. Pace, then. But have you considered that marriage to Kilcairn might be just as convenient for you? He’s one of the wealthiest men in England, and no one dares cross him.”
“But you should hear the way he talks about women, and love, and marriage. It’s awful. Sometimes I just want to whack him.” The other half of the time she wanted to kiss him, and feel his strong, protecting arms around her, but she wasn’t about to part with that information.
“He doesn’t strike me as being a stupid man, Lex. Something must have given him the impression that you would agree to the match.”
“His unmitigated arrogance gives him whatever impression he wants.” She uttered an inarticulate curse. “Please, I don’t want to discuss it any further. My parents married for love, and I will do no less, or I won’t marry at all. For heaven’s sake, we used to talk about that all the time.”
“And now you’re determined to become a spinster, without even having any fun first. Yuck.”
“Vixen, he couldn’t possibly want me and my problems added to his own. How long do you think it would be convenient for him to have Lord Virgil approach him and congratulate him on marrying a poor, ruined artist’s daughter? And when he changes his mind about me, I’ll be in a deeper hole than I am now.”
Victoria looked at her for a moment. “What will you do, then?”
Alexandra shut her eyes. Telling Lucien exactly how she had felt about bowing to his convenience had been easy. Physically and emotionally removing herself from his presence, the next logical step, would be much more difficult. If only he hadn’t said it that way, as though he’d simply fit a piece to a puzzle instead of proposing something as important and permanent as marriage. If only he’d said he cared for her and that he wanted to help her with her troubles, instead of offering to take them on his shoulders as a trade for her consent. If only he hadn’t said he didn’t believe in love, or even the sanctity of marriage.
“I have to leave, obviously,” she said, her voice unsteady. “I’ve saved most of my salary; it will easily see me to Yorkshire or somewhere equally distant from the stupid gossips of London.”
“Did he tell you to leave?”
She paused in her pacing. “No. But how could I st—”
“Look, Lex, he mentioned something unwelcome and you rebuffed him. He should be the one to feel guilty and to make amends. If Kilcairn is at all a gentleman, he won’t send you away. At least not until you’ve helped him marry off his cousin and found another position.”
“But he’s not a gentleman.” Alexandra plopped herself down in one of the morning room chairs. Obviously none of her lessons had made their way through his thick skull, if he’d thought for one minute that she would want to marry anyone as cynical and sarcastic…and warm and amusing and intelligent as he was. But she couldn’t—she wouldn’t—do it. She wouldn’t rely on anyone besides herself. She couldn’t trust anyone else not to let her down.
Vixen continued to gaze at her. “You like him, don’t you?” she finally said.
Abruptly Alexandra needed to pace again. “What I feel toward him doesn’t signify if he feels nothing toward me. And why in the world would I wish to have his poor reputation added to mine?” She shook her head, just the idea of seeing him again sending her into a near panic. “No. I need to leave. As soon as possible.”
“Very well.” With a sigh Victoria rose and walked to her writing desk. She lifted a letter, hesitated, then handed it to Alexandra. “This came yesterday. You seemed so determined to make a good showing here that I wasn’t going to mention most of its particulars to you. But if you’ve made up your mind to run…well, there you are.”
“It’s not running,” Alexandra retorted, opening the letter. “It’s relocating for the benefit of everyone concerned.” She read the first few lines, then had to sit again. “You weren’t going to tell me that Miss Grenville has died?” she faltered, tears filling her eyes.
Victoria swept up and sat beside her. “That part, I had planned to tell you at the first opportunity. Emma didn’t know where to write to tell you about her aunt, but she knew how highly you regarded her.”
“Patricia was like a second mother to me—and to Emma.” She wiped at her cheeks. “How is Em?”
“She’s grieving, but keeping busy. Miss Grenville willed the Academy to her. She wants to keep it running.”
“Good for Emma. She’ll be a wonderful headmistress. And the Academy may keep its name and its heritage.”
“She’s asked if you might be interested in a teaching position.”
Alexandra let the letter drop into her lap. “That’swhat you weren’t going to tell me.”
“Not until you were ready to look for another position. But you are, and Emma Grenville has one available for you.”
