“It’s nothing to do with you and Arthur.” He yanked the bag from her grip.
“There is nome and Arthur. You’re the one I want to keep company with. You’re the one who has stolen my heart. The one—”I want to spend the rest of my life with.
His gaze locked onto hers for the first time since she’d entered the room. A bruise had deepened along his jawline. “I’m going back to Pennsylvania.”
“What?” She stumbled back a step.
“I made the decision before I ran across you and that scum. I don’t regret whipping him. He deserved it. But I’m thankful you saved me from that last blow, when I already had him down. Goodness knows I wanted to break his nose after…” His jaw clenched. “But for your sake, I’m sorry I fought in front of the town.”
For her sake? Her reputation was tarnished. The whole town now probably thought she and Ben were out here carrying on. But that wasn’t what mattered most. “You can’t leave.”
He rolled up his extra pair of clean trousers and stuck them in the yawning mouth of his luggage.
What if he’d decided he still had feelings for his betrothed? Her heart contracted. “Is it Olivia?”
He jerked to a halt. “It’d suit me fine if I never saw her again.” He drove his fingers through damp hair, revealing the shadow of a bruise on his temple. “I gave my word to Jeb that I’d look after you and provide for you, and that’s what I aim to do.” He retrieved his toiletry pouch from the table and stuffed his comb in, followed by his toothbrush. “I’m going to accept the editor position at my father’s paper and earn real money.”
“Why?” She yanked the carpetbag from his grasp and sat on it as he reached for it. “You promised you’d stay and provide for us. Protect us. And now you’re leaving? What about Wolf Heart? LeBeau? What about your big talk about ranching?”
He flinched as if she’d slapped him.
Forty to fifty cattle, not three hundred and fifty. She bit her lip. “What happened? Mr. Cleary at the livery stable said?—”
“What did he say, Cora?” He tossed his toiletry case toward the bed, but it bumped against the post and bounced off. “Did he tell you how I failed?”
Air seeped from her lungs. “No, he didn’t say any such thing.”
“Well, I did. I failed.” He paced. His bare feet struck the worn boards like the slap of a clothes paddle against wet clothes. “I’m no rancher. I was only fooling myself. I know how to live rough. I did well enough as an army officer. I survived the hell of Andersonville. But I don’t know cattle. I know words and news and business. I’m an editor. I’m going back to Pennsylvania where I can earn a good living. I’ll send you money.”
He was giving up? “It’s you I care about, not your money.” She sprang off the case. “I want you here.”
He jerked to a halt in front of her. Deep crevices formed across his brow and at the corners of his eyes. “I lost everything, Cora.” He cupped his hands around her shoulders as if to steady himself. “I lost it all.” His voice trailed off.
“What do you mean?” Her eyebrows shot upward.
His hands dropped away. “I lost the cattle.” He scrubbed his hand down the length of his face and sank onto the hardback chair.
“How?” Her voice faltered. “Were…you attacked? Comanche? Bandits?”
He shrugged and threw one arm wide. “I wish it were the Comanche or bandits. Instead of…” He shoved his fingers through his hair with such force that it tugged on his scalp. “Instead of over two hundred and fifty of them lying hooves up a mile from the Pecos.”
She dropped to her knees in front of him. “H…how?” Their hopes and plans for the ranch? All of Ben’s money? Gone?
Ben’s tongue clung to the roof of his mouth. The longhorns died because of his stupidity and impatience. If he’d waited for Goodnight. If he’d stuck with what he knew best. If he hadn’t wanted to impress Cora… “Alkaline water. Most of them. The rest shot because they’d injured a leg in a mad rush down a plateau.”
He buried his face in his hands—anything to block out Cora’s upturned, pale face and wide, disappointed eyes. The rest of the story leaked across his lips.
Silence fell after he finished. His horse whinnied from the stable beneath them. He needed to finish this and head to town by nightfall. Before Cora’s disappointment and loss of respect for him cut him to the core.
She touched his knee. “But you couldn’t have known about the pond, Ben. It was dark. You’d never been to the area. You didn’t even?—”
“I should have known or put someone in charge who did. It was my operation, my responsibility. I’m the one who made the decision to drive the cattle to market without waiting on Goodnight.”
“You were only trying to do what was best for us.”
He raised his head. “I’ll make this right. I’ll be on the stage at the end of the week. It might take two months before I have a good sum of money back here, but you can sell off a few of the cattle at the stockyard, or use the money Goodnight?—”
“I don’t want you to go.” Moisture dampened her eyes. Her slender fingers wrapped around his weathered ones, her gaze so bright it took his breath away. “We’ll get through this somehow. Here. Together.”
