“For what? For proposing without meaning it? For breaking your word? Or for your lapse in self-control and sanity when you allowed yourself to become infatuated by some Texas charwoman and broke your engagement to me?” She plinked a few notes in a minor key on the piano, the beginnings of a dirge.
Best avoid an argument, as well as he could. There was no sense in extoling Cora’s virtues to a woman who would denigrate her all the more. Better to simply lay the blame on himself and leave it there. He wiggled a finger into his too-tight cravat and sat down on the high-back chair.
She plinked a few more notes. “Cat got your tongue?”
He edged forward on the seat. “I apologize for any hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused you. For that, I’m truly sorry.”
She huffed and rolled her eyes. “The only reason I’m able to leave my house is because your dissolution of the betrothal is only known within our family circles.”
“We never announced our engagement. No one beyond our closest family members should be aware of the fact.”
“But everyone expected it.” She strummed her fingers across two octaves and stood. “Anyone with eyes and ears knew which way our relationship was headed. All of our friends andacquaintances, our fathers’ business associates… How else was I to keep gentleman callers at arms’ length than to hint at the deep connection between you and me?”
He ran his hand over his hair and settled hard against the back of the chair. How could he have ever fallen for this woman? “Well, if they were only arm’s length away, I’m sure they’ll be easy to retrieve. They hover around you at the piano, like moths to a flame. You’ll have your pick. Tell them that you are the one who broke the betrothal. Tell them I have a fault in my character.”
“I’m sure you have many faults in your character.” Her glare sliced like a knife. “But do you think my reputation is all I care about?” She grabbed a handkerchief. “You…” She wadded the linen in her hand and pointed at the end of the sofa where they used to sit. “There. There. There.” She punctuated each word with a jab of her finger. “There is where you sat countless times, partaking of my lips and my affections, and promising me your undying devotion.”
He covered his eyes and slowly slid his hand down his face. He’d never promised his undying devotion, but the rest was too true.Don’t argue with her. He deserved the berating. “Olivia, I have no excuse. It isn’t your fault. I am not the same young man who sat in your parlor the spring of ’63. Andersonville changed me. Wounded me in ways I still do not fully fathom.”
She snorted and held her arms wide. “There was plenty of sofa time in the year after your return from war. Plenty of picnics and moonlight walks. If you faltered while in Texas, if that charwoman?—”
“She’s a ranch owner, not a washwoman.”
“Then she doesn’t need your help, does she?”
He stood. “Olivia?—”
“If she lured you into her arms some evening, tell me. I’ll give you a public lashing, and we’ll be done with it and continue ourengagement. You think I never allowed anyone to sneak a kiss while you were gone?”
“I hope that’s all you let them sneak.”
She marched across the room.Smack. Her slap stung his face.
He rubbed his cheek. “Forgive me. I should not have said that. I didn’t mean?—”
“You’re horrible.” She burst into tears and sank down on the sofa. “You know I’d never do anything like that. You and me…we never….”
“I know.” He sat on the sofa edge, a full three feet from her. “You’re not that kind of girl. But neither is Cora.”
“I don’t want to hear her name.” She slammed her fists into her lap. Tears dripped from her lashes and her chin.
“You’re a fine lady, Olivia. I’m the problem. Andersonville changed me, hardened me. I went through the motions of love and romance. I wanted everything between us to be as it had been when we first courted. I even proposed in hopes of making it so.” He pressed his palms to his knees. “But my heart is not what it was, and all the acting on my part, and all of your admirable qualities, will not fix it. I didn’t fully understand this until I went to Texas.”
“And met that woman.”
“It would be true whether or not I ever met her.”
She wiped her nose with the handkerchief and leveled her gaze on him. “So reinstate our betrothal. Together, we’ll work on mending you.” She slid across the distance between them and clutched at his hands, wet hankie and all. “I will be your wife. I will heal your heart and warm your bed until the war is nothing but a distant memory.”
“Olivia…” He pulled one hand free.
Wet hazel eyes begged. He should have stuck to the chair.
His stomach knotted. “We can’t?—”
“I don’t accept that.” She leaned in, thrust her hands around the back of his head, and pressed her lips to his.
He jerked his head away and broke her hold. “I’m sorry.” He jumped off the sofa.
