It feels like ice pulsates in my veins as she says those three words.
Melody doesn’t realize the bomb she’s just dropped on me though, because she yawns and pads over to the bed, plopping down and laying on top of the duvet. She’s out like a light, while my insides churn with this new information.
That server a few years ago, the way I heard my dad and her plotting together as they had sex at my mom’s charity gala. It all comes rushing back. I text the private investigator I’ve been working with for the last year, and hope that maybe this time the information will make a difference.
21
MELODY
We head back to school, although I’m reluctant to return. My head is pounding with a hangover, and I spend most of the ride asleep. I can barely remember anything, of the night before, except I’m pretty sure I heard Chase’s and my song playing at some point, but that could have been a dream. Rhonda is staying in the city for the rest of the week, so I have to face the firing squad without her.
Chase told me the paper printed an apology and that Jenna was no longer working for them, but still, the way people treated me had me nervous. And it begs the question of if what I’ve been working towards is even worth it. My whole life I’ve dreamed of being a singer, and I thought Langford would be the place to mold me into the best one I could be. But not even a month in and I’m a social pariah. Labeled a brother fucking slut, and a gold digger. It’s a fucking nightmare.
I guess I could see if my old job would want me back, but the thought of waiting tables again and begging to sing doesn’t sit right with me.
“Look, if anyone so much as says anything I will personally hunt them down,” Chase says as we pull in. I give him a weak smile, because that’s all I have the energy to muster. I really should have stopped drinking earlier.
The place still looks intimidating as we exit the vehicle. The quad is busy with people throwing snowballs, but some stop to gawk at us as we walk by.
“Ignore them,” Chase says.
I want to slide up next to him and have his arm wrap around me tucked against his body, but I keep my distance, knowing that we’d only spark a new round of rumors if I were to act on my feelings. I keep my arms wrapped around my body with my head down, avoiding their leering looks, but feeling every pair of eyes tracking my movements.
Once inside our dorm, I say the words that have been sitting on the tip of my tongue all morning. Words I’ve been dreading. “Chase, I’ve been thinking about this, and I think we should just be friends. It’s too much, and I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Chase nods like he was expecting me to say it. “Sure. Fine. Whatever you want.”
“I just?—”
“I get it. No need to explain.”
My insides tumble as he cuts me off. It was so stupid to get involved with him. I knew better, and yet I did it anyways. I jumped headfirst without a thought of the consequences, and now the consequences are biting me in the ass. Maybe I’m being a coward, but if I don’t end this, I’m afraid it’ll end me.
* * *
Maestro givesus an A+ on our project and plays our piece for the class. It physically hurts to hear it. My voice sounds so hopeful, and now I feel anything but. The class reacts positively, and mostly everyone has left me alone. I study, I eat, and I hang out with Rhonda in my free time. I’ve caught up on all my work and am passing all my classes.
Other than sleeping in the same dorm every night, Chase and I don’t interact. In fact, he acts as if I’m not even there. Moving around me like I’m a piece of furniture.
My mom checks in occasionally, making sure I’m still coming to the wedding this weekend, or just to prattle on about how wonderful her life is now. She had a dress sent over with strict instructions to start dieting for so I wouldn’t ruin her pictures. The subtle jab at my weight isn’t lost on me. When my mom wasn’t ignoring me growing up, she was picking apart my appearance. I remember eating a bag of chips in front of her once, that resulted in her cutting off my lunch money for a week. Friends of mine all pooled their money just so I could have something while my mom thought skipping a few meals would make me more attractive. Now, I eat whatever the hell I want to loving my body the way she could never do. But seeing that note from her about dieting brings it all back. Plus, Chase and I will have to travel together, meaning hours of awkward silences. Goody.
“Text me all the updates. I want to see that bridesmaids dress on you,” Rhonda says.
“I will. And tell Angelica hi for me.” Rhonda had started seeing someone in the city since we went to Club Nobu. They were in that lovey dovey stage of their relationship that had me happy for my friend, but also a tad bit jealous.
Chase waits for me by the car with his arms folded and aviator sunglasses perched on his nose.Does he have to look so hot all the time?
“We’ll go out together when you get back.”
“Deal,” I say, hugging her around the neck.
Chase and I don’t say a word to each other the whole way to the airport. And still nothing once we get to the plane.
“Are you going to ice me out forever?” I ask, unable to take the silent treatment any longer.
Silence.
“What if someone attacks me? Will you still be ignoring me then?”
