The house is too quiet, like it’s been holding its breath for Pierce to come breezing back through the door at any minute. His absence is palpable, and I feel it with each inhale, painfully aware that I’m still here while he’s not.
The events of the day we lost him plague me night and day. It’s like I’m stuck in a movie that plays on repeat, and I can’t escape it.
My feet still ache as they slowly heal from my barefoot trek through the forest. Another reminder of that cursed day.
I’m huddled under the blankets in my room- technically Pierce’s room, wearing his football jersey. I’ve been wearing it like it will somehow bring him back. My fingers have run along the hem so many times that it’s beginning to fray. His scent has started to disappear, melding with my tears and sweat, cracking my broken heart further. No matter how desperately I try to cling to what’s left of him, he’s still slipping away. I cling to the minuscule number of pictures I have of him on my phone. My favorite one, is of him flipping me off.
Fuck, I hated him.
A loud bang breaks the eerie silence, jolting me out of my memories. Skye strides into my room, obviously agitated. I haven’t really seen her since she helped Walker get me to the hospital to tend to my wounds. Too bad the doctors couldn’t fix the ones inside of my mind. She flings her body onto the other side of the bed, the mattress dipping with her weight. I take in the mascara stains that coat her blue eyes and sit up slowly, feeling my joints groan in protest.
Nothing in my body feels right anymore. My soul feels weary, as if it’s lived several lifetimes. I haven’t even attempted to awaken my magic since that day in the cave, choosing to ignore the burning questions that circle my mind like sharks encroaching on their prey. I wince at the strain on my body as I attempt to get comfortable. Skye notices and scooches over.
“What happened?” I ask her, my voice coming out like a strained whisper.
She shakes her head, placing it on my shoulder. I tuck her against me, resting my head on top of hers. We stay like that until she murmurs, “Lukas woke up and he didn’t want me there.”
I suck in a breath, shoving down the jealousy that bubbles inside, but not giving a voice to the first thought I have at her sharing that information. She doesn’t need my inner bitch bringing her further down, but the thought lingers- that at least he’s still here to wake up.
“He just lost his brother, Skye.” I say gently rubbing her back.
She sniffles. “I know. I just imagined him waking up differently. It’s stupid, everyone is dealing with so much right now, and here I am blubbering over a boy.”
I nod. “Give him time, and for the love of tacos take a shower babes. You’re allowed to feel your feelings.”
She lets out a humorless laugh. “I could say the same to you.”
I wince, looking down at my bandaged feet. “Shit. I didn’t mean…” She starts, but I cut her off.
“It’s fine.” I say the two words which have become my internal mantra for the last few days. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything is fine. Even though I know deep down it’s not and I’m not sure how to ever be fine again. “I have been avoiding my feelings.”
“You can always talk to me about it.” She says, grasping my hand and giving it a firm squeeze.
“I know. I appreciate that. I just need… time. To process everything.”
“I understand.” She says. “I’m going to go take that shower.”
She leaves the room and I fall back down onto the bed. My unwashed hair fanning out around my head. A reminder that I do need to leave this room at some point.
I know that Skye is here for me, but I don’t have anything to say just yet. I’m still in shock. Still processing this nightmare that’s become my reality. It’s even worse at night when I finally manage to slip into sleep. My dreams have kept me tethered to that moment when the cave collapsed, and I lost Pierce forever. The scene plays on an endless loop behind my closed eyes. When I wake, it’s with his name on my lips, my body calling out for his with nothing but silence to answer me.
Who would have thought that Pierce fucking Ledger would have wormed his way so far into my heart that I was now irrevocably shattered without him.
ChapterEight
WALKER
SONG: THE WALL BY PATRICKREZA
Everything is fucked.
My rage is constant- vibrating under my skin with no outlet in sight.
I pummel my bare fists into the punching bag, not feeling an ounce of relief. I relish the bite of my skin meeting leather and tearing open my flesh into a bloody mess.
Salem won’t let me near her, and I can feel my Wrath growing every day that passes. It doesn’t help that my father has been calling me incessantly, adding fuel to my internal inferno. I make sure each and every phone call is sent straight to voicemail. He can rage all he wants about it, but I just don’t give a shit right now.
A shrill ring breaks through the room, yet another call that I have no interest in answering. I don’t even bother to check who it could be. Everyone that I care to talk to is right here, except for Lukas and Sloan who are still in the hospital and aren’t coherent enough to be making phone calls. Those two were fucking lucky to be alive.
