I stare out the window, unable to think about anything else. Eli has a great house, wonderful friends, and a whole life in Ohio. I have nothing there except him. He is there, and I want to be where he is.
I want to be with him.
I can’t describe why or how, but I know that he is it for me. He is everything I need and want out of life. I just know it. One look into his eyes, and I know without a doubt that Eli is special. He was made for me, and I was made just for him.
When the plane begins to land, the captain comes over the loudspeaker, breaking me out of my thoughts. When I feel the landing gear move, I know that we’re in Texas. There is a shift inside of me, and I wonder if being home is going to change my desire to go back to Ohio.
The plane lands, and Ryan and I gather our things, then head out and toward the baggage claim, where I see my dad waiting for us. He doesn’t have a sign or anything. He doesn’t need it. We see him.
In fact, Ryan wriggles down from my arms and toddles toward him, and when my dad scoops Ryan into his arms, everything inside of me wavers. Maybe I should stay here. My feet carry me toward him, and I don’t stop until I slam into his body, wrapping my arms around him.
“I missed you, Dad.”
“Missed you, too, Wrenny,” he rasps against the top of my head. “But it’s time for you to leave me.”
Pinching my eyes closed, I inhale my father’s scent. “I don’t want to,” I whisper. He chuckles.
“Yes, you do, and that’s okay.” I do want to go, but at the same time, I don’t. He laughs softly, shaking his head a couple of times. “You just landed. We’ll have a nice dinner tonight and talk. You don’t have to navigate anything alone.”
Alone.
With my dad, I’ve never had to navigate anything alone. He’s always been right at my side. Guiding me. Holding me up when I couldn’t do it myself. Always at my back when nobody else was there. When I wouldn’t allow anyone else to be there.
I don’t know if I can walk away from him again and live somewhere else. I shouldn’t be. I know that I shouldn’t, but right now, I’m second-guessing everything I thought I wanted. Every single thing.
ELI
Touching the icon on the phone, I hold it out and look at the screen, waiting for her face to appear. It does, but instead of the huge smile that I expect, she seems somber. Frowning, I clear my throat.
“Hey, sunshine,” I say, trying not to sound overly chipper because clearly she’s not in the mood or something.
She gives me a small smile. “Hey, did you have a good practice today?” she asks.
I hum, mainly because I don’t want to talk about me. I want to make sure she and Ryan are okay. Clearing my throat, I lean back in my chair and continue to watch her. I can’t gauge her mood at all. Her gaze shifts from my face and flicks up slightly so she’s still facing me, but she’s not looking at me at all.
“Wrenly?” I call out softly.
She shakes her head once, her eyes sliding back down slightly to meet mine. “Yeah?”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen with your dad?”
I watch as her eyes fill with tears. I can see them through the phone, and I know all it is going to take is one blink for them to slide down her cheeks. And she does blink, and they do slide down her cheeks.
“I don’t want to leave my dad,” she whispers.
I bite my bottom lip, then release it, trying to waste just a few moments of time. I haven’t lived with my mom and stepdad since I was a teenager, and I know it’s been the three of them for two years.
Her father helped her during every part of her pregnancy and Ryan’s first year and a half of life. I can imagine that she’s feeling separation anxiety from that. As much as I want to tell her to ignore the way she feels and just come back to Ohio, I also understand that it’s not that easy for her.
She also has a career there, a whole life, and I’m not part of it. As much as I want her to be here with me, she’s not part of my life yet, either. But I want her to be. I want us to start a whole new life together.
“I know you don’t, Wrenly. And if you want to stay, I won’t make you come here.” Saying those words goes against everything inside of me. It makes my whole body ache and my stomach squeeze.
But I’m not going to make her feel any kind of way because she loves her father and the life he was able to give her and Ryan. I have to think about them, not myself. Selfishly, I want them to get on a plane tonight and come back here. But this isn’t just about me.
“I don’t know how many more games I have until the end of the season. Just a few more weeks, though. Stay there with your dad, and I’ll come to you when we have a break.”
She doesn’t say anything immediately, blinking a few times before she clears her throat. But when she speaks, it’s only my name, and it comes out in a whisper.
