Moving from Texas to Ohio isn’t a small or easy feat. I’ve done it twice, and now I have a toddler in tow. It’s not really the move that has me hesitant because that’s the easy part. It’s the relationship.
Right now, everything is new and exciting. It’s a lot of lost time to make up with Ryan. But when all that dies down, when we’re in the nitty-gritty of life, then what will we look like? Will Eli even like me?
Will I like him?
Sex is great and all, but it takes more than sex to make a relationship work.
And then there’s the nature of things. My mom took off, she ran, and his father did the same. What are the odds that either of us would do that and leave the other behind? I don’t want to be here alone, and I don’t want to fail again.
I feel like I’ve failed a lot in my life.
Now I’m not so sure.
Eli’s lips curve up into a small smile. It reaches his eyes, but it’s not anything big. It’s just a hint of a smile, a hint of happiness, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same things I am.
If he is, he doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he slips his hand around the side of my throat, his eyes focusing on mine as he grins.
“Sunshine,” he calls out, and his face softens instantly.
An ease crosses his features, and whatever worry I see behind his eyes vanishes. I don’t know if it’s for my benefit or not, but it does relax me. I press my lips together and roll them a few times, unsure of what to say.
“This is going to work, Wrenly. I know it is. It was meant to be. You were made for me, baby. You can’t fuck with fate.”
He leans forward until his mouth touches mine, and I wonder if he’s right. Maybe you can’t mess with fate. What’s meant to be will always be, no matter how hard you fight it. No matter how far you try to run.
I went back to Eli, even after I ran scared. And now we’re here, in bed together, our eyes focused on one another’s. I don’t know what the correct answer is here, and I’m not sure if I’m making a huge mistake or not, but if I don’t do this…
If I don’t take the leap, then I’ll probably have regrets, and those regrets will have to do with Ryan. I refuse to have them when it comes to him. He deserves everything good in this world, everything that I never had, and that includes two parents.
ELI
It’s game day, and I can’t help but feel melancholic. Almost beyond melancholic and tipping toward downright fucking sad. As I sit on the bench in the locker room, I know I should be excited, pumped even.
It’s game day, and we’ll be playing the team in Hershey. We’re home this time. Next game, who knows where we’ll be, but I guess it’s good that we didn’t have to travel for this one so that Wrenly and Ryan can watch before they leave.
Leave.
God, I feel so fucking somber about all of this. And I know that I should be focused on the game. On winning. On being the best forward I can be and the best teammate I can be. But none of that shit is in the forefront of my brain right now. All I can think about is Wrenly and Ryan.
I really don’t want them going back to Texas. And I don’t want to think about it. I want to pretend it’s not happening.
But I know it is. I know that they’ll be gone in a few days, and I’ll be here to play the game, so I can’t fuck up today, no matter what. This is my career, this is my life, and I need to focus on it so I can create the world both Wrenly and Ryan deserve.
I wish there were some kind of way her dad could just send all their shit here, so they would never have to go. I think that would make me feel a hell of a lot better. I honestly don’t want to let either of them out of my sight ever again.
Pressing my fist against my belly, I rub it a few times, massaging it to ease the ache. I’m not sure it works. My stomach continues to cramp, and I feel like I might actually puke from anxiety over this whole thing.
Funny thing is that I didn’t feel this way when I found out about Ryan. When I discovered that I had an almost two-year-old, it didn’t piss me off. It didn’t make me feel anxious in any way. It makes me feel whole.
A man who never thought that he would fall for a woman. A man who never imagined having a child. Yet here I am—with a woman and child. And only after a few days, they are part of me, ingrained into my soul.
They are mine now.
Both of them—forever.
“You game ready?” Daniel asks, sinking down next to me.
