I expect her to be offended by my blurted question, but she doesn’t seem so. Wrenly gives me a small smile, then clears her throat before she speaks and continues her story, answering my questions without hesitation.
“When he was a baby, I was able to take him to the day care at the school for a reduced rate. It was nice because I could go there between classes and see him. Then, after I started working, I was able to hire a nanny for the days that I worked to come to my dad’s house.”
My brows lift in surprise. “A nanny?” I ask.
She laughs softly, and I wonder how in the fuck I left this woman in her dorm room sleeping. How did I not just pick her up and take her with me? I should have. Then, I would have had that soft laugh the past two years instead of trying to forget her and failing at every turn.
“My father lets us live rent-free in his house. He paid for my schooling and also bought food and whatever supplies we needed. I was responsible for childcare, medical bills, and personal items. Along with saving up so we can eventually get our own place.”
I’m going to need to meet this man and pay him back. Just the thought of her father doing all of this for her, for Ryan, it makes my heart swell. I don’t have a biological father, but I know my stepdad would do the same for me or my sister. It just makes me realize that she ran away for a reason.
Safety and love.
I get that, and as much as I want to be angry, I don’t think I can be. I mean, I could, but Wrenly went where she knew she would be taken care of, where my son would be taken care of, and where she knew they would be safe. Any anger that I might feel about the situation completely dissipates at that thought.
SIX
WRENLY
I expecthim to blow up at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he listens, nods his head, then clears his throat. I expected this whole conversation to go about a million times worse than it’s actually going, but that doesn’t mean I’m not leery. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop because I know it probably will.
Nothing in life is this easy, especially after hiding a pregnancy and a whole child for two years. I do appreciate Eli's calmness, though. I really was expecting more drama. I can’t imagine both hearing and seeing the news at the same time. Having it be something so life-altering and appearing out of seemingly nowhere.
I watch as he slides his palms down the thighs of his jeans, and I can’t help but press my own together at the sight. I should not be thinking about those hands sliding down my body or the way his jeans are tight in the thighs because he’s so muscular.
There’s also the fact that he said I was the best he ever had. I cannot fathom that which is why I didn’t respond to it. Those words just don’t register in my brain. They can’t. How could they? It was only the second time I had sex. I didn’t know what I was doing. Honestly, I still wouldn’t know what to do if the occasion were to arise again.
Eli clears his throat, and his gaze searches mine. It’s late, and he looks exhausted. I want to ask him if he needs to continue this tomorrow, but I decide against it. I’m going to let him lead this whole conversation. I’m the one who messed up here, and I want him to have the ability to ask whatever he wants and say whatever he needs to say.
“What does the future, from this moment on, look like?” he asks.
Pressing my lips together, I think about his question. I don’t know how to answer it. I’m not sure what he wants me to say. I could tell him that it’s up to him, but it’s not. Ryan and I have a life, and we have my father back at home in Texas, and the reality is that we’re strangers to one another.
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “It depends on how involved you want to be. I know that I came here, appearing out of nowhere with a whole child. So I’m not sure what role you want to play, if any. The ball is in your court,” I say, using my father’s words mainly because I can’t think of any other way to put it or anything else to say.
He nods, then clears his throat again. “I think I need to sleep on this. How long are you going to be here in Ohio?”
I slide my tongue across my bottom lip, and my eyes connect to his. “Our return flight to Texas is in one week.”
He hisses, his eyes flicking from me to the bed, then back to me. “I have another game this week. I’m going to be training the whole time. I want to discuss this further, though. I just need to think.”
“I understand that,” I say. “I have no other plans this week aside from working this out. Whatever you decide you don’t want or need from me or whatever you want, I’m willing to do it. I needed to come here and tell you in person. I’ve done that, so beyond that, it’s all up to you. However you choose to proceed, I will be okay with it.”
I’m not sure if I’m sounding like I don’t need him or don’t want him. I don’t mean to sound that way at all. But the truth of the matter is that Ryan is what matters. I’m not going to beg Eli to be in our lives, but as his biological father, he deserves the opportunity to be a part of it, be in Ryan’s life, if that’s what he wants.
A few moments later, after we’ve exchanged cell phone numbers, Eli gets ready to leave. He doesn’t walk out of the room immediately, though. Instead, he stands at the foot of the bed, watching Ryan sleep for a long, silent moment before he slips from the hotel room.
But not before he reminds me to latch the locks in place, just in case. I give him a smile and a small nod because it reminds me of my father.
Then I send my dad a text.
We’re safe in the room. I told him tonight.
DADDY-O: And?
Took it well. Confused. Needs to think about some things. Wasn’t mad at all. Seemed to understand where I was coming from.
DADDY-O: Maybe he wasn’t such a bad pick for the position of father after all.
