I know I was bad. There’s no other explanation for it other than extreme embarrassment. And even though I know that I need to have this talk with him tonight, I really hope he doesn’t bring up our one night together. Because no matter how horrible I was in bed, this baby came from it, and I can’t even regret a moment.
Not a single second.
Eli opens the pickup truck door for me and helps me out and onto my feet. I can tell he’s not sure how to navigate helping me with a long and lanky toddler in my arms, but I’ve been doing this for a while, and I can handle it myself.
“I have a mini-suite, so he can go down on the bed, and we can talk in the living room area,” I say.
He doesn’t reply. A single nod is all I get as we make our way to the elevator bank. Touching the fourth-floor button, I wait for the doors to open. Looking over at him, I give him a small smile. He lifts his hand to his mouth and lets out a long yawn.
“If you’re too tired from the game, we can meet for lunch tomorrow,” I offer.
It’s late. I didn’t even think about how exhausted he must be from playing that game for hours. I watched how much they sweat. He’s probably completely depleted and exhausted. Eli snorts, then shakes his head.
“Baby, I couldn’t sleep right now even if I were completely dead on my feet.”
Well then.
At that, the elevator car doors open, and the three of us step inside right before a woman calls out for us to hold the doors. Eli reaches out, placing his hand against them right before she slips inside.
She lets out a huff of air, her eyes looking back at us.
“Thank you so much,” she says. Then, in the next breath, she speaks again, and when she does, my heart completely stops beating inside my chest. “What a beautiful family you are.”
FIVE
WRENLY
I suck in a breath.I have no idea how to respond to that, so I don’t. Instead, the elevator stops, the doors open, and she slips out. We don’t speak about what just happened, what she said. I can’t deny that it gave me butterflies, though. Thinking of us as a family. Which is stupid because I don’t know him at all.
The elevator rises, and the doors open on our floor. Reaching into my back pocket for my key card, I walk down the hallway to my room. I reach out and touch it against the pad next to the door. It makes a little noise, and I push the handle down and then move inside.
Eli follows behind me. I look back and watch as he closes the door, tugging on it after it’s closed to ensure that it’s latched. I don’t know why that makes me feel some kind of way… safe, protected.
Walking over to the king-size bed that Ryan and I share, I lay him down in the middle. Placing the pillows as barriers, I know, is not ideal, but I don’t want him to roll around while I’m talking with Eli. I move to his little bag and take out a fresh diaper and his pajamas.
It doesn’t take me long to change him into his pajamas. Usually, I would bathe him before bed, and I do every night, but he’s exhausted, and Eli wants to talk. So Ryan can have a bath in the morning to start his day.
Once I have him comfy in his footie pajamas, I give him his lovey blanket and back away from him, dimming the light before I walk over to the table and chairs that are across from the bed. I can still see Ryan from where I am and also talk to Eli, who is sitting on the sofa facing me.
Inhaling a deep breath, I look down at my lap, hold it for a moment, then let it out slowly. “You have questions,” I state.
He snorts. “I have a lot of questions,” he says.
I run my shaky fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends slightly as I look straight at him. Pressing my lips together, I don’t say a word. Not a single word. Instead, I wait because this is his time to ask me questions.
I’m the one who wronged him. I’m the one who has things to answer for. I am the one who is the problem. The one who caused all this drama. I roll my lips a few times, my heart racing as I wait for his questions.
“Why did you vanish and block me?”
My gaze flicks to his. “Me?” I ask.
He tilts his head to the side, his brow arching as he watches me and waits for my response. I could lie to him. I could hide my true feelings, my thoughts, and all of the above, but I decide against it.
I promised my father that I would come here and tell the truth. I would be honest with Eli and let him make whatever choices he wished to make once he had all the necessary information to make them.
So, instead of lying or skirting the truth when it comes to his question, I tell him why I vanished and eventually blocked him.
“When you left in the middle of the night,thatnight,” I murmur, “the next morning, I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t even imagine facing you again. You didn’t call me for a while, and by the time you did, I assumed it was to tell me just how bad I was,” I ramble, wishing I could stop talking.
