I fix my gaze on her, lose my breath anew. She is so much closer than I remember when I shut my eyes. If I dared, I could reach out and…
She hardens herself when my hand lifts, opening inches from her round cheek.
I do not touch her. “I do not need ease,” I whisper. “My life is nothing butease, Mirabelle.”
Her cheeks bloom with heat, and I…
I fit my palm to the warmth, watch her squeeze her eyes shut and tense.
Not to hurt her. Not to harm her. That’s what I’ve just promised. That’s what I deeply wish.
But I’m afraid I deeply wish for a lot of things…and I am so dreadfully weak.
“Why—” she whispers, waking me from the haze.
I find myself positioned, leaning, to kiss her, and I force every muscle in my body to undo the motions. Throat raw, I echo, “Why?”
“Why are you calling me by my name now?”
I swallow, dare to swipe my thumb across the slash of pink decorating her cheekbone. “Does it make you uncomfortable?”
She hugs herself, and her shoulders bunch. “I don’t… I don’t know what it makes me.”
It makes her blush, that’s for sure. “Would you like to call me Damion?”
Her head shakes. “No. Not even a little bit.”
Shame. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know you can step back if I am.”
“Can I?”
“Yes.”
She doesn’t.
I watch a swallow bob in her throat as she remains standing in front of me, eyes squeezed shut, my hand on her cheek.
Her lips part. “Is it really okay if I speak freely?”
“Yes.”
She shivers. “In that case, I would like to go to bed now.”
I would like to take her there.
Instead, I force myself to pull back. “Have we come to any understandings?”
Her head shakes again. “I’m more confused than ever.” Her eyes open, large pupils fixing on me. “But…I think I understand why you are the way that you are. Our environments do shape us. Mine is why I am the way I am, too. I don’t like it, but it makes sense.” Her hand trembles as she lifts the back of her fingers to her cheek, then—abruptly—she turns on her heel. “Goodnight, Mr. Anders. I appreciate your intention to speak with me. I will see you tomorrow.”
My hand burns as she hurries back to her front door and disappears inside.
Heart hammering, I lift my palm, stare at the skin that laid flush with hers, then bring it to my mouth.
Letting my eyes close, I kiss and whisper, “Goodnight, my love.”
