“So, there you have it,” Pyro notes, marching toward the town path. “My birthright rests on feeding you.”
Embarrassment crushes me thoroughly, and I remind myself of a few very important details as Pyro parades me princess-style through town to a tavern swelling with nightlife and more townies I need to meet for my quest.
First of all, going off-script isbad. Very bad. Donotdo it.
Second of all, going off-script is inevitable. Very inevitable. Schedule time to sob.
And third of all, it is a mercy that Samson does not ever visit the tavern.
Were he here, I would die of shame.
Since he’snothere, however, I’m likely to die of something else before meeting him. But at least I’ll be able to blame it on my astigmatism, not sheer untempered embarrassment.
Yay.
Chapter 4
Turns out, I do have an energy bar.
Till soil. Plant seed. Water.
It is actually harder in the game, believe it or not.
Having a blessed hoe—even when it’s rusty and can only instantly turnover a tiny plot at a time—helps.
In game, waiting on an animation, clicking the wrong square, and running out of energy takes a lot more time than dragging my magic hoe across a small section of cleared dirt out in front of my farmhouse, burying my seeds in the softened soil, and splashing some water on them.
In game, farming is my least favorite part of a farming sim… (Shocking. I know. Get over it.) But, this? This I could get used to. Especially when, by the time I turn around, the first seeds I planted have already begun to sprout.
Did someone sayCitrus needs instant gratification? Mm. Yes. Very good.
Dusting off my hands and leaving my gardening tools by the crumbling well I unearthed my first day here, I look toward the insurmountable disaster line Samson lies beyond.
I have been here in this majestic paradisetwo and a halfdays.
If this extra long, extra realistic dream ends before I see me some broad shoulders, there is only so much grief I can blame on my astigmatism.
Fixing my glasses, I brandish my axe and plod through the mud.
As I plow into the trees and brush while telling myselflow energyis a scam, I run through my perfect plan, step by step, in easily-attainable goals.
Step one: Samson.
I must see him. Bumble my way through an introduction. Make a good impression. And convince him to fall in love with me at once. It’s very important. For morale. And not waking with regrets. If I do actually wake up, and I really hope I don’t.
At this point, it would be too cruel to send me back.
There is nothing left for me in a world with Florida and Hardee’s.
Step two: the mines.
I needed to get Kaolin’s farming quest started because I feel bad making the woman who gave me toothpaste wait, but doing anything with these cheap tools sucks.
Side note, the mines offer a lot more access to stable funds, which I need, for food.
Apparently.
Unlocking the mines is alongprocess of getting the training sword from Pyro, completing atonof early-game quests, and proving yourself to Slate—the collection’s guy.
