I can’t help but keep looking at his hands again and again. This is something I never thought someone would do to me. It might even seem very small to other people, but for me, it is a big deal. In fact, to me only the minuscule things have mattered.
The thought behind the effort is the only thing that has ever mattered to me.
“Come dance, Aisha.” Raj pulls me and Aarav to the dance floor, and I see the hurt and anger on his face.
I am not unaware of his possessiveness. I have seen it firsthand, and contrary to his belief, I quite like it.
“That’s my wife,” I hear his voice as he comes behind me, a possessive hand on my waist, and goosebumps rise on my skin.
Raj drops my hand, and Aarav snickers beside me. I pass him a look because no matter how much I like this possessiveness, I do not like the awkward tension that is surrounding us at the moment.
“Sorry, man.” He raises his hands up in surrender before moving slightly away from us.
The music continues playing around us, and I pull away from him.
“That wasn’t really necessary,” I say, and he bends down to my level, even though I am sure he heard me because I am not short.
“What?”
“I said that wasn’t necessary.”
He pulls me closer to him by the waist, moving us to the beat of the music, and my heart starts beating so fast that I am sure he can hear it well even with the blasting music around us.
“I think it was,” he says, his breath hot against my ear. “I belong to you. You are mine, and I think that is something everyone around us needs to know.”
I pull back a little so that I can see his face now.
“Are you sure you don’t have a weak memory?” I ask.
“Why?”
“Are you forgetting we are getting divorced at the end of these three months, out of which one has already passed?”
He chuckles, swiftly twirling me around, and I gasp. What the hell? Why does he have to be so damn…strong?
“And are you forgetting that I said I would leave no stone unturned to keep you with me?”
I am about to argue even though I can see myself falling for him again.
I don’t think I ever fell out of love. I don’t think I could ever fall out of love with him.
I just got better at hiding it.
“Look, Aisha,” he says, all serious now, and even with the music deafening me, I can hear his words loud and clear. “I know I fucked up. Actually, “fucked up” is the smallest word I could use for what I did and how I have been, but I am no smart man, and you know it.”
He licks his lips, and I swear I see his eyes glistening.
“What I am trying to say is that I love you. I know what we have is special. I know I wouldn’t want to live a life that doesn’t have you. I can’t even imagine one where you are not by my side. All I know is that this world that we live in is a cruel place, and in this not-so-nice and happy place, we had managed to build something that was peaceful. I am sorry I ruined it, but I don’t want to let it go anymore.”
“Is it easy for you to move on from the past?” I ask.
“It is not,” he says, pressing his lips against my forehead, and I close my eyes. “But it is not worth losing the only person I care about in my life.”
“I love you, Aisha,” he adds, and I bite my tongue. I so want to say the words back.
Every inch of my body wants to yell these three words on top of my lungs, but am I able to? No
Even when I feel like I should, I can’t because a small part of me is still hesitant, still scared.
