Reyansh Carter
If you had met me before, and if you saw me today, you would think that I am a completely different person because the stupid smile couldn’t be wiped off my face even if someone shat in front of me.
“You are smiling, are you okay?” my PA—Henry— asks me and I give him a middle finger with the smile still intact on my face
“I am happy,” I say, continuing to work on some files.
“You definitely look like it,” he taunts before dropping in some more files on my table. “Checked these.”
“Thanks, fucker.”
He salutes, unfazed by my comment before leaving me alone in my cabin. I can’t even blame him. I rarely smile in my office. I rarely smile in real life. Until or unless, I am around my wife, my parents or Aarav.
And the only reason I am this happy is because Aisha picked up my call, talked to me for a whole five minutes and said yes to my request of accompanying her to the states.
Not only that, for the time we talked, it felt like we are back to the couple we were. The couple where she talked and I listened, hanging onto her every word like she was telling me the most important detail of my life.
She could talk for hours and I could listen for all that time without blinking an eye.
I just love her voice so much. The way she talks, the way each syllable rolls around her tongue. I love it all.
God, I love my wife way too much.
I get through the rest of my day excited. Finishing each of my tasks fast so that I don’t miss picking her up this time. I don’t want to be messing up too much, missing out anymore.
* * *
I am used to staying alone in my office till late, but tonight feels different. Every cell in my body is jumping with excitement. I texted Aisha a few minutes ago and she said she will be done by 2 a.m. It is currently 1 a.m and I am already pacing around my office, wondering how to pass this time.
I stare out the high ceiling windows of my cabin, out the slow crowd on the roads. I have spent days, weeks, months in this position when my mind was a mess. I know Aisha thinks the only time I started putting efforts was when she announced her wish to separate from me. I know she thinks I did what I did only because I am scared of losing her—which I am. She is the most precious to me, despite what my actions say. But I started noticing her pulling away from me way too early. I was just too numb and too high up my delusional horse to think that she will never leave me, that we are bigger than that, that despite all of my stupidity she will not leave me.
How fucking dumb I was to play around with that. To take her for granted. I know for a fact women like Aisha, the ones who know their value and I am so proud she does—do not play with their time. It is only a miracle how she gave me so much time already.
When I think about what went wrong between us, I know it is not just about our work, our goals and all that we lost in between. Deep down, I know when we got married young, itwasn’t just because I loved her too much. It was also because a small, hidden part of me thought I could rewrite the history by doing the same thing my parents did. A stupid, vulnerable, and lonely part of me wanted to prove to them that not all decisions you make when you are young are wrong.
And that was neither fair to me nor to Aisha. I know she gets me and I know I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I would still get married to her young. In every universe, I want to find her early in life so I can be with her for as long as possible.
But I would take steps in a different way, act more mature and not be a fucking loser.
I grab my coat, thinking I will just wait outside her office.
My steps are hurried, and I might have jumped a step or two like a child while walking towards my car.
On my way, I decide to call my lovely best friend—Aarav. He is not useful to me most days but he is entertaining.
I wait as the call connects to the Bluetooth of my car.
“Well, what a pleasant surprise, fucker,” he says as soon as he picks up and I roll my eyes.
“Hello to you too, Aarav,” I say, trying to not let him get on my nerves this fast. I can manage for at least five minutes. “Good to know you have lost all your manners.”
“These words don’t suit coming from the mouth of the man who did so much shit.”
“Like?”
“Let me think,” he says and I just know he is going to break my record of lasting at least five minutes before lashing out on him. “Pulling my pants down in front of all the boys when I was seven.”
“You were seven,” I let out, not knowing how many times he will remind me of that. He was wearing underwear and I was a kid. I didn’t know how to curse at him when he annoyed me so I did that.
