“That’s what you will have to do anyways, Reyansh. I won’t give up either. I won’t make these three months easy for you too.”
“I don’t mind, Aisha.”
“I will make these three months hell for you, Reyansh. I mean it.”
“Hell with you will be my heaven, Aisha. I mean it.”
* * *
I have had trouble sleeping for the past few months. I suppose the comfort and silence that would engulf me usually when Reyansh was around was affected deeply once he started coming late at night from work.
Now, I pretend to be sound asleep as he steps out of the washroom, freshly showered and, I bet, looking like a five-star meal.
What can I say? I am a woman with needs. Needs I never had until I met my husband.
I close my eyes tightly as I hear him rounding the bed. I try to calm down my ever-beating heart and slow my breaths so that he doesn’t get to know that I am wide awake.
He must be looking at me because my body reacts on its own, turning as hot as a furnace, my nerves getting the best of me.
Shut it. I tell myself internally. It is not the first time I am sharing the bed with my half-naked husband.
I clench my hands tightly, resting under my chin. I feel him get under the covers, his body still hot from his steaming shower.
I hope that he turned away from me, but to my surprise, he speaks to me.
“I know you are not asleep,” he says, and my heart speeds up. “Or maybe you are asleep and your body reacts to my presence. I have always loved the effect my presence has had on you.”
Dick.
“I just want to say something I could not before,” he says, and my curiosity spikes up. “I wanted to say that there have not been many good things in my life. Nothing worthwhile or something I should be remembering. But if there’s one memory that I keep revisiting, it is the day I laid my eyes on you.”
He sighs, and while I hate it, a corner of my ice heart starts melting. No matter how mad or hurt I may be at him, I will never ever be able to hate the days we spent together. The day our eyes connected was six years ago. The best days of my life. Not only because I got to live my London dream, but also because I fell for him.
Falling for Reyansh was never a mistake. It could not be.
“The day you looked at me was the third best day of my life. You know why? Because the second was when I got to kiss you for the first time. Only I know how hyperventilated I was after that. The first one is and always will be when I got to marry you finally and call you my wife. Nothing beats that. Correction—nothing can beat that.”
He sighs, and I feel his fingers inch towards my face. My heart comes to life with even the lightest hint of his touch. I have never been immune to his touch anyways. He tucks my slightly loose hair behind my ear, and my eyes water up slightly. It has been so long since we have had a moment to ourselves. A moment where all we have done is admire each other, sit in silence, and just appreciate that in a world so cruel, we get to experience each other’s company.
He rests his palm on my cheek, his thumb going up and down smoothly on my soft skin. He inches closer to me, and with his other hand, he pulls me closer to himself by my waist.
Up close, I can smell his body wash and feel the heat of his skin.
“There’s no person luckier than me, I can guarantee that. And I am also not a loser or dumb enough to let you go, the one and only best thing in my life. I agree; I did a sore loser’s job at making you feel appreciated. The distance between us kept growing—with us both trying to achieve our dreams, and I did nothing to bridge it. I just didn’t know how to. My EQ is lower than a teaspoon, you know that.”
I bite back the urge to smile. For once, I need him to go on. I need to hear what he has to say.
I might never give him the chance otherwise.
“I love you, Aisha. I love you so, so much. It hurts right here in my chest to think you want out of this marriage. I know you are just tired, hurt, and fed up. I don’t buy the fact that you don’t love me. That’s bullshit. I say this with pride: I am the only man you have ever loved. And I am not going to let that slide.”
He stops, and I wonder if that’s it, but then he does something I wouldn’t expect him to.
He leans up and presses a kiss on my forehead, lingering there for a minute. Then his lips move down on each of my eyes. The right one first, then the left one. Then my right cheek and then the left one.
When I think he will kiss me directly on the lips, he moves away, leaving me disappointed, and the fact that I feel that way after all this time pisses me off.
“I will reclaim our first kiss again. You will give it to me, and I will do so happily. Just like I will reclaim you in my life. I will earn your love back. I know I will. You just wait, my love.”
