“Yep.” The sandwich has turned to glue in my mouth, but I manage to swallow before adding, “I’m good.”
“Savannah, you don’t need to lie to me.”
My best friend always means business when she says Savannah instead of Sav. I can never hide anything from Josie for long.
“It’s just…the way they found each other,” I mumble, gnawing on my lip. “It was like magic. Love at first sight when they weren’t even looking for it.”
Guilt rises in my throat, and I try to swallow it down with another sip of hot chocolate before I continue.
“I know I should just be happy for them. Heck, Iamhappy for them. I just wish the same thing could happen to me.”
“I get it, Sav.” Josie reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “Don’t shoot me for this, but have you thought about trying dating apps again?”
Dating apps. The devil’s spawn.
I fight back a shudder.
I know they’re not all bad, but when I finally caved and downloaded Small Town Singles,my first match was a guy who communicated solely using eggplant emojis. My next match asked to video call because he wanted to show me hisactualeggplant. I instantly deleted the app, and the thought of re-downloading it doesn’t exactly spark joy.
“I think I’d rather die alone.”
Josie smiles, but she knows I don’t mean it. All my life, I’ve been craving love. True love. Marriage, babies, and a white picket fence kind of love. I just wish I didn’t have to use an app to find it. Wading through eggplant emojis doesn’t fill me with butterflies like the meet-cutes I write about in my stories.
“Honestly, Sav, I know how you feel,” Josie says, the smile dying on her lips. “It’s tough out there. Lumbersnack still doesn’t know I exist.”
“Hemustknow by now.”
“Nope.” She picks glumly at a string of cheese oozing from her sandwich. “I’m invisible.”
Josie has been talking about Lumbersnack ever since he started coming to the diner a few weeks ago. She insists he’s the most gorgeous man she’s ever seen, but he refuses to make eye contact with her, even though he comes to the diner every morning. It’s been driving her nuts.
“It’s his loss,” I tell her. “You deserve someone who notices you, Josie.”
I change the subject before I can ruin her good mood, but as lunch winds down, we’re clearly both still lost in our thoughts. It’s almost time to head back to work, so we drain the dregs of our hot chocolates and head out of the coffee shop together.
“Don’t forget you’re invited to Grandma’s party tomorrow,” I tell Josie as we hug goodbye outside.
“Of course! I wouldn’t miss Bonnie’s birthday for the world.”
My grandma’s birthday is always a big deal in Cherry Hollow. As the owner of Bonnie’s Tavern, she knows practically everybody in this town, and it feels like all of them show up to her parties.
“Maybe Lumbersnack will be there,” Josie sighs as we pull apart. “I doubt it, though. He looks too grumpy for parties…or human contact in general.”
With one last sympathetic squeeze, we go our separate ways. Josie walks back to the diner, and I head inside Midnight Tales, where the rest of the afternoon slips by quickly. I work the register and restock bookshelves, but I’m only half concentrating as I smile mechanically at customers.
Talking to Josie about Thorne and Aria has stirred up a lot of emotions. I’m usually good at burying all the negative stuff, but right now, it’s hard to ignore the ache in my chest. Sometimes it feels like my heart’s about to explode—bursting with love that has nowhere to go.
Keep it together, Savannah.
Just get through the rest of the day.
When it’s finally time to close the bookstore, I grab my purse and wave goodbye to my boss. Her husband steps inside just as I’m about to head out, a dark glint in his eye when he sees his wife behind the counter. He doesn’t even notice I’m still in the room.
“Hi, beautiful,” I hear him say to my boss. “Fuck, I missed you.”
She giggles. “Duke, we just saw each other a few hours ago.”
The door swings closed behind me, and I scurry out of the bookstore, throat tight as I head for my car. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. Usually, there’s nothing I love more than seeing people get their happy endings—whether in books, movies, or real life. But right now, it just feels like a painful reminder of everything that’s missing…everything I want but don’t have.
