“Indeed, it was. She was racing on her private track, and therefore, she made the rules. Epsom Downs has specific rules that not even a duchess can break,” I said. One day soon, Amelia would be a duchess in her own right. That’s if Oliver proposed. His hesitation in the garden during our discussion had pricked my curiosity. I had my suspicion as to why he was reluctant, but until I knew for sure, I could only assume he’d be true to his word.
“Whether the Duchess of Hillsboro does or doesn’t ride, don’t let it spoil your day.” Oliver laid his palm on her gloved hand and linked her fingers with his. He offered her an encouraging smile, his teeth flashing white. The closeness they had was profound, and I envied their easy comradery.
Her rigid stance loosened, and she gripped his hand. “You are right, my dearest Oliver. I have been gifted a rare opportunity. Noah has taken a risk by inviting me, and I don’t wish to appear ungrateful.”
“I never thought for a second you were,” I said. She thought she could change the world, and I never wanted her to lose faith that she could. The world looked different to me. I usedto believe anything was possible and that I could change the outcome fate intended with enough will.
How wrong I’d been. I had made the difficult decision to never marry again, thus avoiding future heartache. Amelia and Oliver had to learn for themselves what life held for them. There was no denying the love between them, and I at once envied it and dreaded ever feeling it so deeply again.
I had my boys, a comfortable income, and a title. It was more than most had, and for me, it was enough. It had to be.
Chapter Six
Lord Oliver, Duke of Hayesford
Epsom Downs vibrated with the voices of racegoers. We stood in the grandstands with the other well-heeled attendees. My pulse pounded in anticipation, but not just because of the upcoming race. Noah stood next to me, close enough I could feel the heat of his arm infiltrate the sleeve of my greatcoat.
They lined eight horses up, walking and trotting alongside their escort ponies. “Which one is Aether?” Amelia stood before us and rested her arms on the wooden rail. I had been confused when Noah had proposed we invite her instead of being the two of us. He’d dropped some rather broad hints about a potential affair between him and I. Or at least I thought he had. I wasn’t sure anymore and wished I could confide my confusion to Amelia. She was very levelheaded and often helped me resolve the complex issues I dealt with daily. We melded well together, yet another reason to make her my wife.
“He is the roan wearing the blue and white livery,” I said. If I told her the truth about me, would she run screaming from the room or listen to my reasons with an open heart? I had no reason to believe she’d do the former. Nothing in our lifetime friendship indicated she’d feel any differently about me. I desired to be with her, but would I be able to consummate our marriage ordisappoint her and myself? It was a complex question with no simple answers.
Most racegoers were gathered in the center of the track, while others flanked the U-shaped course. A low buzzing of voices in the distance, coupled with the more distinct conversations around us, added to the exhilaration.
“I can’t believe I am here. Look at how beautiful the horses and the jockeys with their silks are. Oh, I am in heaven,” Amelia said, clapping her gloved hands.
Noah looked up from where he’d been checking the time. The sun had made an appearance between the slowly drifting clouds, and the fashionable derby hat shaded his face.
“If you look to your left, you will see a dark-haired woman in a green ensemble and two men. The blond man is her husband, Hillsboro, the taller is his horse’s trainer,” Noah said, nodding toward the assembled people a few hundred feet away. The duke was handsome enough, with golden hair and a slender build. As if he knew we were looking at him, the trainer glanced in our direction and caught my eye. I quickly lowered my eyes, embarrassed to be caught staring.
“Oh my, what an intriguing-looking man,” Amelia said with a telling flush.
Should I be jealous or not? I had given her the opportunity to meet other men, and she still chose to marry me. But none of the society men I knew had the trainer’s raw masculine appeal.
“He is indeed,” I said and groaned in the next instant. A rush of panic hit me at my inappropriate comment, and I chanced a glance at Noah. He was watching me with intensity. The trainer was ruggedly handsome, but he didn’t appeal to me the way Noah did. “I mean, he looks rather intimidating.”
Amelia angled her head to study me with more concentration than I was comfortable with. There was no way she’d guess my proclivities because, frankly, she was naïve to the underworld offorbidden desires. I might doubt my abilities, but I knew Amelia would never question her own.
I held my hand up to my forehead to shade my eyes, watching the parade to post ending, and tried to ignore her stare. The horses were being led behind the chalked line, some fighting the expectation for them to stand still and wait. I sympathized with them. At nineteen, I was still trying to juggle my responsibilities to my title with my personal needs.
“He spent ten years in New York City training some of the country’s most successful horses,” Noah said, coming to my aid. Amelia wanted to travel to the United States, and spoke about it with much frequency.
“Then Hillsboro is lucky to have him,” Amelia said. “The duchess is younger than I thought she’d be. She’s very pretty.”
“Indeed, she is very beautiful and sophisticated,” I said, trying to recover from my earlier blunder.
