Epilogue
Lady Amelia, Duchess of Hayesford
I rocked my son in my arms in the drawing room at Hayesford Hall, pressing my lips to his downy head. Oliver and Noah sat in the wingback chairs by the fireplace. Ethan sat on his father’s lap while the two men taught him how to play chess.
Snow drifted outside the window, the festive smells of cinnamon and spruce permeated the air. Noah and the boys were living with us in the country for the winter months.
Muted voices sounded from outside the drawing-room door, and Ethan raised his head. “I think they’re here,” he said, hopping to his feet.
A knock at the door followed his comment, and the butler entered. He stepped back and allowed the newcomers to enter. “Lord and Lady Brimley,” he said.
“Grandmama, Grandpa,” Ethan ran across the room to greet them. My father picked him up and tweaked his chin. He was much trimmer around the middle since the truth of Sally’s death came to light.
My mother, in turn, had gained some much-needed weight. She kissed Ethan on the cheek before moving to my side. “How is my new grandson?”
After the birth of my son, I had waited for the darkness to fall like it did for my mother and sister, and it hadn’t failed me.I struggled at first, but I had my husband and Noah to lean on. A light was beginning to appear at the end of a long, dark tunnel. My staunchest supporter was my mother. “He is perfect, of course.”
“He is, indeed.” She laughed at my teasing remark. Since her confession, she’d slowly softened in her manners, well, as soft as Mother could be. The forest green gown complimented her coloring, but the happiness in her eyes was new. My heart warmed at the sight. “Can I hold him?” she asked.
I lifted Archie enough to let her take him. Father joined the men, and Oliver stood, allowing him to take his seat. My husband kept close eyes on me; whenever I withdrew from the world, he was by my side. Dr. Thomas, the doctor who had taken care of Lady Gwendolyn on the night she drank too much, had been my attending physician. He scoffed at the traditional ways many doctors treated women with my condition and prescribed exercise. He studied the teachings of a German man named Sigmund Freud and used psychoanalysis along with a Swedish medicine called physical therapy, to help me deal with the darkness. Instead of being locked in my room, I rode my horse around the estate with my husband and Noah or flew kites with Ethan. Dr. Thomas called on me weekly, and his aid was invaluable.
William burst into the room, followed by Hortense and Lady Gwendolyn. She was even more fragile than when Oliver and I married, but she’d lived to see her great-grandson and heir to the dukedom come into the world. William joined the other boys, and the children began to chatter.
I shared a smile with Noah, my love and my lover. After we’d reconciled our differences, he’d accepted our invitation for him to come live with us for part of the year. My mother’s obsession over losing the children had faded as well. She and my father had turned into ornithology enthusiasts and often went birdwatching. I was learning to know my mother as an adult, not from the eyes of a child.
The clock chimed the hour, and I stood. Wife, mother, and mistress of a grand estate, I still struggled to maintain the calm that seemed to come naturally to my mother. “Shall we move into the dining room? Supper will be served on the quarter hour,” I said.
The children were allowed to dine with us in celebration of our Christmas feast, and I had ordered an early supper for this special occasion. While my mother and Hortense wrangled the youngsters, my father escorted Lady Gwendolyn.
Once they were gone from the room, Oliver, Noah, and I raced to the corner where the gifts I had carefully wrapped were tucked into a trunk. The men unpacked the contents and moved them under the tree.
I held Archie, thrilled to surprise the children with toys and treats. It had been one of my fondest times as a child. Sally, Albert, and I often tried to ferret out the gifts, but Mother was too clever to let us find anything. She’d been much more carefree then. Sally’s loss still hit me at the oddest times. I willed myself to stay in the present. There was so much good in the world, and I required constant reminders to see not only the bad.
Noah knelt next to the tree while Oliver handed him each carefully wrapped gift, the vibrant material I used to wrap them tied with a colorful bow. Noah had lost the haunted look he’d worn when he thought nobody was looking. Our arrangement was a bright spot in my nights, and I yearned for his touch. Oliver had confessed his shameful experience with the doxy to me and how he’d first fought his desires. Being with Noah had set him free of his own shame. Granted, nobody outside this room could know of our unusual love affair.
I handed Archie to the nursemaid. “I will come up to see him after dinner.”
“Yes, your grace,” she said, exiting the room.
Oliver righted himself, his hands on his hips. “I believe that’s all of them,” he said with a pleased grin. “Although I don’t see a gift for me.”
“Nor is there one for me, either,” Noah said, lifting one brow in amused condemnation.
“I do have a gift for both of you.” I stepped before Noah and brushed my mouth across his before kissing Oliver. My heartbeat increased from the two men’s proximity, my body starting to sing a merry tune of desire. “The doctor told me I could once again have marital relations.”
Noah shared a heated look with Oliver before he tempered it. “That is excellent news. Are you ready for such a commitment?”
“I am indeed.”
“That is the best gift, my love,” Oliver said.
“And what gift do you wish in return?” Noah asked, moving behind me and settling his hand on my back. He placed his cheek next to mine, his chest hard against my back.
“At least two whims,” I said, referring to our code for bed sport.
“I believe that can be arranged.” Oliver stroked my cheek. He trailed his lips over my mouth before kissing Noah. I tilted my head, watching the two men, my cunny beginning to throb with need. While I had been increasing, Noah had been able to bed me in a proper fashion. After Archie was born, I feared I’d lost my desire for coupling. The more therapy I had with the doctor, the greater my resolve to return to a normal state. The men had vowed to remain celibate until I could join them again, which gave me added incentive to fight the darkness. My love for them gave me strength. After three months, the time to renew the spark was at hand.
