Anger continued to fight with my calm. I had woken up happy, and she was dampening my mood with her harshness. “I am well aware of my duties and will fulfill them to Oliver’s satisfaction. It was, however, by his orders that I be left alone until such time as I decided to come downstairs.” A lie, but she didn’t know that. “Already, he is the most attentive husband.”
“Oliver has never had the wherewithal to deny you anything.”
“Thus, every mother worth her salt would aspire to have such a generous man as their son-in-law.” I belted the sash on my robe and reminded myself to remain calm. With measured steps, I went to the bell pull to call Jenny. “I know you wished for me to marry Noah, but I made a promise to Oliver, and I kept it. He’s my husband, and I will not have you disparaging his character any longer, Mother.”
If possible, her shoulders pushed back even more. “You might be a duchess, but you will not speak to me in such an ill manner.”
“I could say the same of you.” I stared at her, my temper getting the best of me. She’d bullied me long enough, and I wasn’t going to take it any longer. “I am no longer a child to be ordered around. This is my wedding celebration, and if I wish to lie in bed all morning and eat chocolates, I will do so.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You have always been overly dramatic, bordering on hysterical.” She waved a hand in front of her face, dismissing my argument.
The word triggered the horror that I’d read in Sally’s diary. Her last days were spent in isolation while those around her labeled her mad. “Like you claimed Sally was before she died?” The words came out before I could stop them.
She paled and took a step back, pain in her eyes. “You are too young to understand such matters. Sally was being treated by arenowned physician who specialized in the humors and female hysteria.”
“I’m a married woman,” I reminded her, a hundred questions swirling around in my head. From the stubborn tilt of her chin, my mother would ignore every one of them if I chose to ask for more details.
“By a day. You...well, I suppose you are no longer naïve in the ways of men and women.” A blush dotted her cheeks, the effects making her appear younger.
“No, I am not.” I tried to keep my own color down. My wedding night was still vivid in my mind. If Mother knew the entire truth, she’d have a fit of apoplexy.
“But you are far from an expert,” she said, walking to the side table and adjusting the tintypes that Jenny had placed in my room to make it feel more like home. A picture of Sally holding Ethan was displayed in front. Mother lifted it and traced Sally’s face with her fingertip. Love softened her features, and I glanced down. I couldn’t watch without envy, which only upset me more.
Nor do years of living make you one either. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. This bickering wasn’t accomplishing anything. It only served to worsen my mood. The sooner I could get her out of my room, the better. “I think I will get dressed now,” I said, throwing open my wardrobe door.
Jenny entered through the servants’ entrance. She stopped cold at the sight of my mother. “Lady Brimley, Your grace,” she said with a quick bob.
Mother turned and inspected the dresses in my wardrobe, the wedding gown still held tight in her grip. “Amelia, I think you should wear the mint green gown with the pearl inlay buttons. It’s subtle and sophisticated. And Jenny, see that her hair is styled as befitting a duchess. None of those silly curls. She’s no longer a little girl.”
“Yes, my lady,” Jenny said, looking most uncomfortable. I was her mistress, not my mother.
“I also need the chest for the wedding gown to be delivered to my room posthaste so that my maid can restore what’s left of the dress to its proper packing.” Mother shifted the gown to her other arm.
“I am afraid the chest is still in London, my lady.” Jenny said.
The chest where I had discovered Sally’s diary. A stab of misery settled into my heart at the thought of the contents in the journal. If Mother had found them, she’d surely have destroyed Sally’s confessions. Luckily, they were tucked into the secret compartment of my secretary in my old room. Once I returned to London, I had order the furniture delivered to my new home..
“I see.” Iciness dripped from Mother’s tone before she shook her head, agitation in every movement. She moved to the door and paused at the last moment. Looking over her shoulder, she lifted an arched eyebrow. “You need to get dressed and don’t dawdle. It isn’t polite to keep your guests waiting.”
My lovely morning had turned sour. I met Jenny’s tentative smile and sat down at the dressing table.
“I will wear the burgundy silk, and I would like curls. Lots of curls.” Mother had never been affectionate toward me, and it seemed the more time passed, the less tolerant she’d become. Her resentment toward me at times was palpable. No matter how often I tried to figure out why she hated me so much, I couldn’t find an answer.
Like Sally and the twins. Could it be possible my mother had suffered a similar hysteria when she’d had me? If so, it would explain a lot. Or it could purely be speculation on my part. My maternal grandmother wasn’t overly affectionate either.
No matter how often I said I didn’t care how Mother treated me, I did.
A bit too much.
