“I guess I haven’t noticed that,” she blinks.
We stare at each other for a few seconds, and my heart squeezes a little more. My heart says it doesn’t matter that she lied to us for decades. She’s the only one for us. But my brain and my gut are both telling me to get up and leave. Fuck those excuses. There’s no reason to have kept my son away from me all these years.
She holds up her hand. “Listen. I have a lot to tell you, and I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out before you storm out of here like your ass is on fire.”
A bitter laugh escapes me because she’s right. She could always read me like a book. “I’ll give you ten minutes. And this story better be good because from where I’m sitting, I have every right to be pissed at you.”
Camellia folds her hands in her lap and turns to face me. “First of all, I need to clear something up - Ryan isnotyour son.”
“What?”
“No matter what was going on between us, I wouldn’t keep that from you. I know he looks a lot like you, but he’s not your son. He’s Owen’s.”
It feels like I’m the one who was T-boned by a dump truck, right in the gut. “What the hell?”
“First of all, I’m not sorry I waited to tell you because I’m protective of him. I’m constantly worried about what will happen if some bad guy gets wind of him. Today was my worst nightmare.
“When you and I reconnected, I meant to tell you several times, but we kept getting interrupted. As you know, I left Flamingo Cove after you chose Sabine. And Owen followed me to Alaska. I felt like that was a chance to do something with my life, even if he wasn’t my first choice. When he asked me to marry him, I figured - why not?”
I blink at her, still in shock.
“I didn’t find out I was pregnant until after he,” Camellia shifts in her chair and hisses in pain. “After he died. Then I found out he likely killed himself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to raise the baby alone. I’d already turned everything in my life to shit. And the baby needed a better chance at life than I could give him.”
“You didn’t turn things to shit,” I protest.
“That’s how it felt at the time.”
“You never said a word to your family or your twin? I find that hard to believe,” I grunt. “You’re as thick as thieves.”
Camellia doesn’t look me in the eye.
“Oh,” my stomach flips. “They do know.”
She nods. “Papa, Mama, and Cat were on the first plane to Alaska when I called with the news. They wanted me to return to Flamingo Cove, where they could help raise Ryan. I knew if I came back here, I’d have to watch you and your growing family every day. And I couldn’t do it. No matter how good it would be for Ryan. I didn’t want to come back here. Ever.”
Even though I knew she felt that way, it still stings to hear the words come out of her mouth. I clear my throat. “You raised Ryan by yourself?”
Camellia shakes her head. “No, Owen’s parents lived in Virginia.”
Everything clicks into place. “That’s why you signed on with the ATF in Washington.”
“Yeah. The Maxwells were inconsolable after Owen’s death. That’s the main reason the investigators and I kept the suicide from them. Mrs. Maxwell was in poor health, and I feared that the news would kill her. When I told them I was pregnant with their grandchild, it was like they both got a second chance. I bought a condo in the same neighborhood, and they looked after him while I was at work. When I went undercover, which was a lot, he’d stay with them.”
“It sounds like it worked out for everyone involved.”
“It did. He had some wonderful years with the Maxwells before they died about a year ago,” Camellia’s eyes become shiny as she looks at me. “Within a day of each other. She died first. Ryan says his Grandpa Maxwell probably died of a broken heart because he couldn’t live without the love of his life. And that makes sense to me.”
I rub my hands along my thighs. I knew a little something about not being able to live without the love of your life, even if she kept the world’s biggest fucking secret from you.
Always keeping secrets, my brain reminds me.
Camellia leans forward and takes my hand in hers. “Aaron. I can pretend all I want that I will be able to walk out of here and back to my life of work, tequila, and random hookups. But that’s a lie. I never want to go back to that.”
My gaze rakes over her face. “What do you want?”
“You. Us. I should have fought for you all those years ago,” Camellia squeezes my hand. “But as you’ve so eloquently pointed out, if you didn’t marry Sabine, you wouldn’t have your daughters. If anything else had been different, there’d be no Ryan. And you’re going to love him. I know you will. He’s thoughtful and sweet. I never regret a moment that he’s walking around on the planet.”
“He’s also a little bit of a badass,” I smile a bit at the thought of how he dropped like a stone, then grabbed the bad guy’s gun, keeping cool in the face of danger. “I believe that’s genetic - from the Saber side.”
